HUMOUR UNLEASHED -- 21

HUMOUR UNLEASHED -- 21

(Compiled by Subbaram Danda)

Why are some orators highly successful?  An analysis

has shown that they make it a point to liberally

incorporate sparkling jokes in their speeches.

In reality, it is not the substance of their

talk but the quality of their humorous

interludes  that  grabs and holds

the attention of the listeners.

The network ‘veri’

The Chief Executive Officer of the most popular social network had a dream, in which he did penance praying to God with all devotion.    Pleased with his act, God appeared before him.

CEO:  “God, I am thankful to you.   I seek your blessings and help for a new venture of mine.”

God:  “Go ahead, let me know.”

CEO:  “Now, my network finds itself on slippery slopes of containment.  China is controlling flow of information.  Pakistan has its own restrictions.  Now India is threatening to impose curbs.   The trend appears to be spreading fast and I have to take timely action.   Even in the free world, competition is growing…..”

God:  “Okay.  Come to the point.  What do you expect from me?”

CEO:  “I am looking for your clearance to introduce my network in Heaven.”   

God:  “That sounds overambitious.   You seem to ensnare me in your clever moves.”

CEO:  “Please forgive me.   I would like to receive from you a list of all earthlings now in Heaven, who had been avid users of my network on earth.  In fact, they were my source of strength from the beginning.  I look forward to their co-operation in Heaven too.”

God appeared puzzled and said:  “That is impossible.  None of them is in Heaven.  They are all in Hell.

CEO was surprised but went on: “God, why are they in Hell?” 

God: “Back on earth, they were all irretrievably addicted to your network and consequently they neglected their personal and family duties and responsibilities. Now they are in Hell not only for atonement of their sins but also for a de-addiction programme, as they have been feeling fish out of water without the network!”

Heaven-bound or Hell?

Professor of Hindu Law narrated a story to his students and posed a question:   “A priest conducting religious discourses frequently and a taxi driver of a busy city died on the same day and found themselves in the court of Lord Yama, God of death and dispenser of justice.  After hearing their past deeds from Chitragupta, the chronicler of human activities, Lord Yama delivered his judgment.  Accordingly, one of them went to Heaven.  Who is it?”

A student:  “It is the taxi driver, professor, and not the priest.”

Professor: “Why?” 

The student:  “My reasoning is simple based on universal truth.  I know that men and women go to a discourse essentially to meet their friends and engage themselves in gossiping.  The priest can never instill a sense of piety in them.   Thus his discourse is a wasteful exercise.”

Professor: “Go ahead.”  

The student:  “But, when the taxi driver manoeuvres his vehicle through busy streets in an overcrowded city, he makes the occupants pray to God and they cry O’God, O’God!”  

God is great !

A fully drunk middle-aged man in tattered clothes with disheveled hair was lying uncared for on the side of a main road near an Indian monastery.  A near-empty bottle of whisky was popping out of his torn jacket pocket.  He was clutching in his left hand a small FM radio.  

A saffron-clad monk of the monastery passing by noticed him and wanted to help.  Extending a hand, he made him sit up.   Asking him whether he wanted any assistance, the monk started giving him some good advice.  “God will always forgive people who realize their mistakes.  You should give up drinking and lead a life of virtue.  Your health, physical and mental, will become all right.  I can also help you find a job, if you need one.”

The drunk, still in an inebriated state, asked him: “Tell me why one gets severe back pain and suffers from it excruciatingly?  What is the way out?”

The monk:  “People who consume intoxicating liquors, drug-addicts, chain-smokers, thieves, cheats, bad characters and perverts get it.  That is how God punishes the wrong-doers.   However, reformed good-behaviour and regular prayers will help getting cured.”

The drunk, pointing to the monastery, said:  “I just heard on the radio that Uttama-Shreshta, head of the mission over there, has developed severe back pain and is unable to move about. Poor guy.  I think he needs counseling.” 

December 17, 2011 (740 words)

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MARVELS OF THE WORLD -- 18 : THE HERMITAGE MUSEUM, RUSSIA

THE HERMITAGE MUSEUM -- ARTISTIC EXTRAVAGANZA

(By Subbaram Danda)

The Hermitage Museum in St. Petersburg, Russia, is world famous not only for its finest art collection but also for the superb buildings where it is housed – the magnificent Winter Palace of czars and its five adjuncts.  With three million exhibits from all over the world and from ancient times to modern day, the museum is “one of the world’s richest repositories of art.”  The Hermitage, meaning a quiet retreat, cannot be meaningfully appreciated in a single visit.  

The collection had its beginnings in 1764, when Russian empress Catherine the Great purchased “a considerable number” of west European paintings for her personal possession.  Highly ambitious, only a couple of years earlier she had dethroned her own husband emperor Peter III after joining hands with rebels.   Talented and well-educated, Catherine had a special taste for exquisite artworks.    She ruled for 34 years and with her grew the exhibits.   Her successors too contributed to the cache.    After the Russian Revolution of 1917, the palace, its annexes and the entire collection have become the State Hermitage Museum.



The facade of Winter Palace

Fabulous palace

Today, as visitors walk towards the green-and-white three-storey Winter Palace on the banks of river Neva, its baroque architecture characterized by extravagant ornamentation, vibrant colours and bold contrasts stuns them.  Constructed to serve as the winter residence of the emperors and designed to reflect the might and sweep of imperial Russia, it has 1,057 lavishly decorated halls and rooms, 1,786 doors, 1,945 windows and 117 staircases.  A fire in 1837 was devastating but its restoration was fast.  Though large parts of the interior were redone, the exterior has remained almost untouched.

To reach the Winter Palace, visitors normally pass through a well-paved vast open area, called Palace Square.  Horse-drawn carriages saunter along offering to take the people around the museum for a charge.   At the centre of the square stands a 155-foot tall column erected to commemorate the victory of czar Alexander I, Catherine’s grandson, over French emperor Napoleon.  Called Alexander Column, it is described as “the tallest triumphal column in the world.”  A statue at its top holds a cross.   Weighing 600 tonnes, its main body is of red granite.



Jordan Staircase

Dazzling staircase 

Inside the Winter Palace, its main staircase itself is an amazing creation.  It dazzles the visitors with elaborately gilded artworks and captivating sculptures on its side walls.  Red-carpeted marble steps, shining granite columns and richly painted ceiling add to the overall ambience.   In the 18^th century, it was known as the Ambassadorial staircase, as it was used exclusively by foreign envoys coming for official receptions.   Later it came to be called the Jordan staircase, as religious processions led by the czar used it to go down to river Neva for ceremonies reminiscent of Christ’s baptism in the Jordan river.  

As visitors move from one large hall to another, one feature after another enthralls them.  Walls in pastel yellow, subdued pink, muffled blue or critical scarlet carry royal portraits and legendary pictures interspersed with masonry decorations.   No two flooring patterns, ceiling enrichments or door embellishments are similar.  The overhanging chandeliers are of various sizes, shapes and layers.   Vases of different dimensions, colours and designs can be seen at several points.  Spacious rooms display renowned paintings, famous sculptures, priceless jewellery, fabulous thrones, imperial carriages, ceremonial costumes, fine china, historical arms, ancient coins and many other works of antiquity.  

Golden peacock clock

Golden Peacock Clock

A major attraction the visitors do not like to miss is the Peacock Clock, which Catherine cherished most.   A wondrous time machine, it consists of a life-size peacock perched on an oak tree branch, an owl in a spherical cage and a rooster—all brilliantly gilded.  Every hour the owl cage rotates, tiny bells attached to it chime, the owl moves its head to and fro, blinks its eyes and taps its right foot.  The peacock raises its head, spreads its feathers, turns half a circle displaying its lifted feathers to the viewers and gets back to its original position.  Then the rooster nods its head several times and crows out the time.    The entire glittering exhibit is housed in a large multi-sided glass case.

The Russian contribution to the museum is understandably enormous.  The imperial halls recreate the fabulous palace life of the czars.   Each room is of a different style and period.  Bewildering is the fact that the walls and ceilings of drawing rooms are elaborately gilded.   The fabled thrones of the emperors are a major attraction.   The bronze bust of czar Peter the Great is noteworthy.  Carriages with gold-covered wooden carvings, upholstered with velvet and decorated with French paintings deserve a close look.    Warrior models in shining armour on horseback are of special interest.  Statues, bas reliefs, tapestries, memorabilia and military banners abound. 

The west European art

The Hermitage’s west European art collection is considered one of the finest in the world.  The pride of place goes to Italian works from the 13^th century to the 19^th, particularly those of great masters of the Renaissance – Leonardo da Vinci, Raphael and Michelangelo.   People spend considerable time appreciating Leonardo’s paintings of “Madonna and Child” and “Madonna with a Flower.”  The former highlights Madonna’s tender gaze at her child as she feeds it.  Connoisseurs say that the painting is a “great beauty for its colour and composition.”  The other painting realistically reflects the “warmth and charm of a mother’s feeling” as she holds a flower and plays with the child. 



Raphael Loggia

Raphael departs from the tradition in his canvas of “The Holy Family” and depicts St. Joseph without a beard.   A stroll down the Raphael Loggia, a long corridor with attractive high arches named after the Italian artist, enables the visitors to see gorgeous frescoes done by him and his pupils.  Elsewhere, among the many Italian sculptures are “The Crouching Boy” by Michelangelo, “The Ecstasy of St. Theresa” by Bernini and “Cupid and Psyche” by Antonio Canova.  

In the Dutch section, several paintings of Rembrandt stand out.   “Flora” is a portrait of Rembrandt’s wife, where he pours out his love and affection for her.   In “The Return of the Prodigal Son” the painter presents a biblical scene capturing complex emotions vividly.   Spanish painter Picasso’s cubist works are another major attraction.

Indian wing

The Indian wing is small.  An erotic sandstone sculpture of a couple, bronzes from south India and paintings from the Mughal, Rajput and Golkonda schools are its highlights.   Other oriental art is also well represented.  Among the classics, Roman and Greek sculptures as well as Egyptian relics, including stone coffins, draw huge crowds.   The Treasure Gallery has over 1,500 pieces of silver, gold and diamond jewellery.   

More than 2.5 million people visit the Hermitage every year.   For major cruise lines it is a “must-see” shore-excursion destination.  It is said that if a visitor devotes just a minute to one exhibit, several years would be required to rush through them.   It does not appear to be an exaggeration.

December 10, 2011 (1170 words)

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HUMOUR UNLEASHED -- 20

HUMOUR UNLEASHED -- 20

(Compiled by Subbaram Danda)

Laughing out loud is of great therapeutic value.   It is

by itself an aerobic exercise.  Like in 'Pranayama,' it

prompts lungs to inhale air deeply, retain it and then

exhale.  Loud laughter is a remedy for many illnesses. 

Very very ‘Kolaveri’

Wife to husband: “It is 9 a.m. already.  Get up.  You have hibernated for too long.  This is not just the week-end but also the month-end.  You have a lot of things to do.”

Husband:  “Leave me alone for a while.  Don’t drive me crazy.”

Wife:  “What?  Remember you have to go for a walk.  It is more than a month since you have had a head bath.  Our son is waiting to learn Maths from you.  For the next month we have to buy provisions.   You have to get ready cheques for son’s school fees, house rent and car loan installment.” 

Husband sarcastically:  “That’s all?”

Wife, trying to smother his ire:  “Today for the evening tea I am going to prepare your favourite ‘Mysore Poli’ and crunchy ‘Vegetable Pagodas.’  But, I am looking forward to your help in the kitchen.”

Husband: “You are whipping up Kolaveri (murderous rage) in me and turning me into a different kind of a man.”

Stunned wife:  “Are you going to kill me, what?”

Husband condescendingly:  “No darling.  You have created sufficient stress in me and to fend it off I have to sing the famous Kolaveri song again and again.  Singing it and dancing to its tunes will make me a different man and pep me up sufficiently to do all the things you have listed.”  In a teaser he added:   “Would you like to join me?   We can dance together!” 

                 

Why so?

Teacher:  Can any one of you say why carrots are good for the eyes?

Student 1:  You only said it, Miss, in the class yesterday.  That’s why.  We trust you.

Student 2:  Our text book says so, Miss.  It is in print.  I read it last night.

Student 3:  I know that rabbits love carrots and eat a lot of them.   And they do not wear spectacles.

True prediction

A few leading astrologers and numerologists joined together and launched an online facility titled Stars-n-Planets offering a variety of services.   As a gesture of goodwill to mark the inauguration, their system invited interested married persons to answer its four questions and in return get free of charge an apt description of them. 

A clever housewife wanted to fool the system and see what would happen.   She logged into the website of Stars-n-Planets and clicked on the button ‘go.’   The first question popped up:  “Name a king you don’t like.”   Bent upon misleading the system, she typed “CooKING,” as she hated all kitchen-related work and had never cooked before her wedding.

The second question: “Name a king your spouse likes.”   The home-maker replied, “ClicKING.”  Her husband was a computer engineer, who spent a lot a time in front of the machine and loved to play with other modern hand-held electronic gadgets. 

The next question: “Name a king you both don’t like.”  The woman responded, “BanKING.”   The couple had seen several of their friends suffer from the collapse of banks in the past and, moreover, the rate of interest they got on their deposits was meagre. 

The last question: “Name a king you two like very much.”   She answered: “WalKING.”  The husband and wife were both gym frequenters and fitness freaks.  For them their health was of primary importance, as there was none to take care of them if they fell ill.

The housewife turned anxious to see what the system was going to say about her.  After a minute of agonizing silence, the prediction flashed:  “You are a typical Non-Resident Indian, torn between the happiness of the homeland and the dazzle of the dreamland!” 

December 3, 2011 (650 words)

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MARVELS OF THE WORLD -- 17 : NOTRE DAME CATHEDRAL, FRANCE

NOTRE DAME CATHEDRAL : HISTORICAL EXUBERANCE

(By Subbaram Danda)

Notre Dame Cathedral is a catholic shrine standing in serene environs on a small island in the river Seine at the centre of Paris, France.   Meaning “Our Lady” in French, it is an “active church” dedicated to Virgin Mary containing the “cathedra,” the official chair of the Archbishop of Paris.  Its architecture is Gothic with ribbed vaults, pointed arches and towering columns.  Its chequered origins, amazing sculptures, stained-glass windows and past events have made it not only famous but also historical.   It is astonishing that as many as 13 million people visit it every year – more than 35,000 a day!  

As visitors walk towards the west-facing main entrance, they are struck by two square towers with flat tops rising to a height of 228 feet.   At the ground level three massive ornately designed portals or doorways greet them.  The central portal, largest of the three, depicts the Last Judgment.  Its panels show the resurrection of the dead, judgment, Christ and his apostles.  The left one called the Portal of the Virgin is dedicated to the patroness of the cathedral.  The remaining one is the Portal of St. Anne, Virgin Mary’s mother.



Western facade of the cathedral

Gallery of Kings

At the centre of the façade a large circular stained glass window, measuring more than 31 feet in diameter, attracts everyone’s attention.  Called rose window in Gothic architecture in view of its similarity to rose flower, it is one of three such prominent windows.  Standing in front of it is a statue of Virgin Mary holding baby Jesus flanked by two angels.   Below this rose window and above the three portals, there is a long horizontal gallery of 28 statues of biblical kings of Judah and Israel, ancestors of Mary and Jesus.  The statues in ceremonial costumes with crown and other regalia stand close to each other separated by pillars under ornate arches.   

The Notre Dame Cathedral came up on the spot where the Romans had built a temple for Jupiter centuries ago.  This was followed by a basilica and then another church.  Foundation for the present shrine was laid in 1163 AD but its progress was stunted. It was not completed until 1345 – a delay of about 180 years.   Succession of architects and changing plans have made this edifice an amalgam of styles.   Yet the basic Gothic genre stands out.

The four elevations of the cathedral – front, rear and two sides -- look distinctively different.  The main west frontage with the two flat topped square towers is the result of intense interplay of vertical and horizontal lines. The rear is in a semi-circular format, around which there is a conspicuous string of pinnacles and flying buttresses, handle-like arched exterior structures to support walls.  Though the northern and southern façades are both horizontally-oriented with a row of flying buttresses in the front and a sloping roof at the top, they look divergent in view of the position of their respective portals and their details.  A spire soars skywards from the centre of the building. 

Mystic spell

As people step inside, the cathedral’s Gothic ambiance characterized by low-light interiors, high ceiling and large enclosures transports them back to medieval times.   The spacious church can accommodate as many as 6,000 worshippers.   Huge tall pillars, stained glass windows, large wall paintings and a variety of sculptures cast a mystic spell on them.  As they move on, one feature after another unfolds before them.  The altar presents itself in magnificent settings.   The crucifix glistens in serene glory.   The semi-circular marble steps leading to it are pleasingly set. 



A major rose window



Light strains through the three major rose windows and other stained glass panels turning their colourful depictions vivid and vibrant.  The north rose window dating back to the 13th century is widely considered to be the most stunning.  It portrays Virgin Mary and Old Testament personalities.  The south rose window highlights Christ surrounded by saints and angels.  In the treasury of the cathedral many sacred relics have been preserved.  Those attributed to Jesus include the Crown of Thorns that was forced upon Christ before crucifixion and a piece of the original crucifix.   The organ of the church, reconstructed, has five keyboards and 8,000 pipes.  It is said to be the largest in France.

Notre Dame has gone through periods of destruction and restoration.  During the French Revolution it was misused as a warehouse and plundered.   Many statues were decapitated or mutilated.  For years it remained neglected.  Celebrated French Writer Victor Hugo through his famous novel “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” whipped up the sentiments of Parisians and made them realize the need for its restoration.  The consequent major renovation, led by local architect Violett-le-Duc, brought grandeur to the cathedral.   In recent years, there was a programme that began in 1991 for cleaning and preserving the sculptures and facades.  

Napoleon’s coronation

The cathedral was the venue for several celebrity events.  It was here that Napoleon Bonaparte demonstrated that the state enjoyed supremacy over the church and crowned himself the emperor.   In dramatic sequences, he took the coronation oath, collected from the altar the crown already blessed by the Pope and personally placed it on his head.   He then laid the diadem on the head of his wife Josephine.  Subsequently, official heralds proclaimed Napoleon the Emperor of the French.  On another occasion, when Paris was liberated during World War II General de Gaulle rushed to the cathedral to offer his thanksgiving prayers.   His state funeral was also conducted there.   

Among other noteworthy features are numerous sculptures of gargoyles, ferocious animal figures acting as rain water spouts, on the roof of the twin western towers and at some other points. The top can be accessed by climbing about 400 steps.  The church’s bells are very famous in Europe.   Of the five large ones, the bell on the south tower is prominent weighing as much as 13 tonnes. 

“Good luck” charm

About 100 feet in front of the main entrance visitors can see a small octagonal brass plate set in the ground.   Engraved on a surrounding circular granite slab there is a legend: “Point Zero – Des Routes de France.”   It marks the starting point for measuring all distances in Paris.  Over the years, this “Point Zero” has become a “good luck” charm.   People place their palms on the plate or spin with one foot on it making a wish.  Some couples even stand together on it and kiss seeking eternal harmony.

Regarded as the “most popular edifice of Paris” and “an ambassador of Gothic cathedrals” Notre Dame de Paris invariably finds a place in the itineraries of all visitors.  As Victor Hugo observed, “each stone of this venerable monument is a page not only in the history of the country but also in the history of knowledge and art.”

November 26, 2011 (1,150 words)

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HUMOUR UNLEASHED -- 19

HUMOUR UNLEASHED -- 19

(Compiled by Subbaram Danda)

Keep smiling, if you want to look young!   This is the finding of

researchers at Max Planck Institute for Human Development

in Germany.  A study has revealed that nature bestows

a youthful appearance on those whose joviality

can be seen fully reflected on their faces.



Boy’s prayer

When the four-year-old son of a leading cine actress came back from the kindergarten, his happiness knew no bounds as his mother was at home unexpectedly.  She had a nasty fall while doing a complicated dance sequence for a film and sprained her legs.  The doctors had advised her complete rest for a week.

The boy threw himself on the bed next to her and fondly kissed her again and again.  The actress was also very happy that she could now spend some time with her affectionate son.  In the past, because of her busy call sheets, she could not spare much time for him.

The week passed very fast and the actress had to go for shooting again.  She was not sure when she would again have time to play with her son.  She cajoled him, hugged him and kissed him repeatedly.   Finally, leaving him to the care of an attendant, she left waving him bye.  Reluctantly, the boy too waved her back.

Suddenly, the boy asked the attendant to take him to his favourite temple nearby.  There he prayed for a while and sat down on the steps lost in deep thoughts.

The attendant:  “What is troubling you?  Why is this impulsive visit to the temple?”

The boy: “My mom told me last night that if one prays to God sincerely, whatever one desires God grants.”

The attendant: “Did you pray for anything special?”

The boy:  “Yes, I wanted God to give my mom many more opportunities to do highly complicated dances.” 

Fast writers

About 50 years ago, English newspapers of South India gave a lot of prominence to speeches of celebrities.  They used to carry full text of their talks.  It was a time when reliable hand-held electronic gadgets were not available to record the speeches and play them back.   Reporters had to totally depend on their shorthand skills. 

A person normally talks at the rate of 80 to 100 words a minute.  Excellent orators will touch even 200 words.  In those days the most difficult to take down were the speeches of Past President Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan, whose philosophical deliveries used to be peppered with Sanskrit quotations.   So, newspapers loved to have on their staff high-speed shorthand writers.   These reporters were held in high esteem in journalistic circles.

One evening, newspaper reporters went to a prominent hall in Chennai to cover the speech of Sarvepalli.   The meeting was delayed by about half an hour and so they indulged in talking shop.

A veteran from a morning English newspaper wanted to rag the evening newspaper man.   He said in a provocative style: “I have to toil it out tonight.  But it is not so for my friend from the evening daily, as he can easily lift everything tomorrow from my paper.”

The evening newspaper man, a stalwart himself, replied:  “Yes, I know.  I acknowledge that you are capable of taking down in shorthand speeches of 200 words a minute.  That is why you are occupying the position of Deputy Chief Reporter.”  He added sarcastically, “But unfortunately the problem with you is that you cannot read back even a word accurately!”  A young reporter of another morning daily, who had just joined the profession, could not control his chuckles.

“Do the same thing”

Buddhu had no peace at home.  He and his wife were frequently quarreling.  He approached his friend Vivek and sought a solution.   The friend told him:  “I and my wife Tara had a similar problem.  We went to Psychologist Wiseman and he set everything right.  I suggest you go and see him.”

Buddhu and his wife met Dr. Wiseman.  After detailed discussions with each of them, the doctor decided that the problem was with the man and not with his wife.   He advised him: “The treatment to you will be identical to that of Vivek.  I had asked him to meditate for 15 minutes a day.  You do the same thing.  Come and see me after a week.”

After a week Buddhu went to the doctor and reported:  “Doctor, there is absolutely no improvement.”

Dr. Wiseman:  “In the second stage I had advised Vivek to walk to the temple on the main road every morning, pray to God and come back walking.  You do the same thing.  See me after a week.”

Buddhu saw the doctor after a week and told him:  “No change in the situation, doctor.”

The doctor:  “Don’t worry.  Your problem will be fixed.  I had suggested to Vivek that he should take Tara to a foreign country for a week on a holiday.  That helped.  You do the same thing.”

The next day Dr. Wiseman received a frantic call from the ortho department of a hospital nearby.  The caller said, “Your patient Buddhu has been admitted here and he wants to see you urgently.”  The doctor rushed to the hospital.

On seeing the psychologist, Buddhu cried:  “Doctor, I did as you suggested.  I invited Tara to join me on a tour to Malaysia.  And here I am.”

November 19, 2011 (890 words)

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MARVELS OF THE WORLD -- 16 : THE STATUE OF LIBERTY, USA

THE STATUE OF LIBERTY : LADY WITH THE TORCH

(By Subbaram Danda)

Standing majestically on a small island in the New York harbour for over a century and a quarter, the Statue of Liberty has mesmerized millions of visitors to the United States and natives alike, winning their hearts without exception.   Its origin, development and features have no parallel.  It is an “imposing work of art” and a “masterpiece of creative genius.”

It is hard to believe that the statue is not “Made in America.”  It was conceived, designed and built by the French and offered to the Americans as a symbol of enduring friendship between the two.  The amity had seen its zenith during the American Revolution, which culminated in the U.S. independence from the British in 1776. 

Again, it is not widely known that French engineer Gustave Eiffel, who shot into fame with his later creation of Eiffel Tower in Paris, was associated with the statue.  The expert, who had by then built several structures in France, joined hands with sculptor Frederic Auguste Bartholdi in preparing the statue’s intricate interior body framework.   The idea of commemorating the friendship through gift of a statue had come from French political celebrity Edouard de Laboulaye.  Then it was the turn of Bartholdi and Eiffel to give shape to it.

Statue of Liberty



Beacon of hope

It was decided that the statue should stand for and radiate the ideals of freedom, equality and opportunity.  It should serve as a beacon of hope and inspiration for the suppressed all over the world.  Bartholdi devised it as a lady figure with flowing robes taking a cue from Roman goddess of freedom Libertas.   Scouting for an appropriate location, he thought that the New York harbour would be an excellent setting for the statue because it was where “people get their first view of the New World.”  He selected the small Island in the harbour, which was then called Bedloe’s, for the purpose.

However, the journey to completion was not smooth for the statue.   Mainly, it faced funding problems.  It was subsequently agreed that the French would meet the cost of the statue and the Americans would take care of its erection on their soil.   After nine years of toil, the statue was finally built to the satisfaction of everyone.   To facilitate its shipping, 350 individual pieces of it were packed in 214 crates and despatched.  It was reassembled in New York.   An artistic pedestal that appeared to grow from an 11-pointed star-shaped granite-faced base was designed.  It was inaugurated on Oct. 28, 1886 amidst scenes of euphoria.  In mid-twentieth century the island was renamed Liberty Island.

Colossal dimensions

Today, as visitors board a ferry, climb to the top deck and leave the Battery Park pier in New York heading for the Statue of Liberty, an incredible skyline of the Big Apple unfolds.  Skyscrapers of different shapes, sizes and colours present a picturesque sight to behold.    Soon the celebrated statue appears in the firmament.   Trying to withstand the pitching and rolling, the people jostle for a vantage point to click their cameras.   The ferry gives the impression of circling the statue at a close range, offering several photo opportunities.  When it docks for disembarkation, expectations run high.  A neatly developed park and a wide promenade beckon them.  As they move forward, sea on one side and a green lawn on the other with the monument soaring high, the visitors become awe-struck.

The Lady Liberty, as the statue is affectionately called, looks green with its exterior copper cladding having reacted constantly with the water vapours of the sea.   Its colossal dimensions overwhelm everyone.   It rises to a height of 305 feet – as tall as a thirty-storey modern building!  Its weight is mind-boggling 204 tonnes -- as much as that of 40 elephants herded together!  Its head measures 17 feet in height and its nose 4’6” in length.       

Gilded torch 

The torch

In the right hand the statue holds a torch aloft, regarded as a cherished symbol of enlightenment, and carries a tablet in the left, on which the date of the American Declaration of Independence, July 4, 1776, is inscribed.   Its huge crown displays seven “spikes or rays” representing seven continents.  A broken chain, marking freedom from domination and oppression, lies at her feet.   Visitors can, with prior permission, climb 354 spiral steps to the crown and gaze out of its 25 windows or take an elevator to a lower lookout point for a bewitching view of the harbour and its surroundings.  At times entry to the crown area is suspended for reasons of security and renovation. 

The sculpture has undergone restoration periodically to meet the demands of time.  Currently, its torch, made of copper but with a covering of 24-karat gold-leaf, shines brilliantly round the clock.  During the day sunlight makes it dazzle and in the night floodlights turn it extra-ordinarily radiant.  In the past, the statue had functioned as a light house powered by electricity and its light could be seen as far away as 40 kilometres.

A must-see attraction in the premises is a museum.  It traces the history of the statue through replicas, photos, videos, posters, documents and other exhibits.  It takes the visitors through the statue’s origins, fabrication, fund raising, pedestal erection and restoration.

Ageless symbol of freedom

As American poet Emma Lazarus said in a sonnet titled “The New Colossus,” the statue can be seen addressing repressive regimes and seeking possession of their suppressed.  The verse exhorted: “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free…    Send….the homeless, tempest-tossed to me.  I lift my lamp beside the golden door!” The immigrants looked at the statue as their saviour offering them invaluable gifts of life -- freedom and opportunity.   

The appeal of the message of “Liberty Enlightening the World,” as the statue is officially known, has been enormous.   It has inspired people across the continents.  In recognition, its models have been erected in several countries.  In particular, on July 4, 2004, its largest replica in the world nearly 40 feet high was unveiled in the country of its origin France at Colmar to commemorate the 100^th death anniversary of its sculptor Bartholdi.   Stamps, coins and medallions have been issued several times.

In 1924, the statue was designated a national monument of the United States.  In 1984, it was accorded the status of a World Heritage site by UNESCO, which described it as “a masterpiece of human spirit…, a technological wonder that brings together art and engineering in a new and powerful way.”  Popularly hailed as “an ageless symbol of American freedom,” more than four million people visit it every year.  Its 125^th anniversary of dedication on October 28, 2011 was a grand affair.

November 12, 2011 (1130 words)

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HUMOUR UNLEASHED -- 18

HUMOUR UNLEASHED -- 18

(Compiled by Subbaram Danda)

A life  without humour  is like eating 'idlis' at the

world famous Indian restaurant 'Saravana Bhavan'

without its array of 'chutneys' and spicy 'sambar!'

Best ways

After an hour-long presentation on “The Indian Financial System and Indigenous Sources of Funds”, Professor of Commerce asked his students, “What is the best way of raising money in the country?”

Student 1: “By issue of equity shares to the general public.”

Student 2: “By getting loans from financial institutions and banks.”

Student 3: “By enticing a rich girl, marrying her and tapping her father.”

Next day, the professor spoke on “Savings and Investment” and queried the students, “What is the best way of maximizing family savings?”

Student 1: “By reducing expenditure on items of luxury.”

Student 2: “By investing in high interest-bearing bank deposits.”

Student 3: “By withdrawing the add-on credit card given to the shopping-hungry wife.”

On the third day, the professor lectured on “Managing Money” and cautioned students against pitfalls involved in handling one’s funds.   At the end he asked a question, “What is the best way of burning one’s money?”

Student 1: “By blindly investing in stock markets.”

Student 2: “By taking bets in horse races.”

Student 3: “By buying lots of crackers and fireworks for Deepavali and literally setting fire to them in the name of celebrating the festival.   This is what ‘burning money’ is all about.”

Nonchalant

A man with totally grey hair and a lot of wrinkles all over his face sat on a bench in a corner of a park.  With his hands trembling he started smoking cigarette after cigarette.  This went on for long. 

Then he opened a whisky bottle and began drinking.  In between he kept on eating pieces of pizza from a packet he had brought with him.

Watching all this was a renowned visiting professor of cardiology, who had come to the park with a few local physicians for a stroll and relaxation before he could head for a conference.   He approached the man on the bench and told him politely: “Sir, I am a doctor.  Smoking, drinking and eating fat-rich junk food are all highly injurious to health.  You should gradually cut them down.”

The man replied haughtily:  “I don’t care.  I have been doing this for years.”

The doctor, after taking a close look at him, advised him once again:  “These are luxuries you can ill afford at this age of yours.”

Angrily the man retorted:  “What do you mean?  I am only 27 years old.”

Ambitious goal

A man told his son:  “Look my dear, your twelfth standard public examination is fast approaching.  Concentrate on your studies.  You should aim at getting admission in a medical college.  Imagine how it would be if you become a doctor and earn name and fame.”

Son:  “I assure you father, I too have high ambitions.”

After the examination and results, the boy approached his father holding behind his back his marks list and told him: “Father, what would be your reaction if I tell you that I got a centum in Biology and 95 in Physical Sciences?”

Knowing his son in and out, the surprised father replied:  “I would certainly have a heart-attack, my son, out of immense joy.”

Son: “Don’t worry dad.  That is why I got only a fail mark in both.  You are very precious to me.”

He added, “But, be reassured, dad.  Today I feel I am well-equipped to be a politician.  One day, I will certainly become the Health Minister – far above all doctors.   They have to salute me.  And I can make more money than a doctor!”

Father: “What do you mean?”

Son: “When a 10th standard-failed person can become the Education Minister, why not I the Health Minister?”

November 5, 2011 (635 words)

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