HUMOUR UNLEASHED -- 20
(Compiled by Subbaram Danda)
Laughing out loud is of great therapeutic value. It is
by itself an aerobic exercise. Like in 'Pranayama,' it
prompts lungs to inhale air deeply, retain it and then
exhale. Loud laughter is a remedy for many illnesses.
Very very ‘Kolaveri’
Wife to husband: “It is 9 a.m. already. Get up. You have hibernated for too long. This is not just the week-end but also the month-end. You have a lot of things to do.”
Husband: “Leave me alone for a while. Don’t drive me crazy.”
Wife: “What? Remember you have to go for a walk. It is more than a month since you have had a head bath. Our son is waiting to learn Maths from you. For the next month we have to buy provisions. You have to get ready cheques for son’s school fees, house rent and car loan installment.”
Husband sarcastically: “That’s all?”
Wife, trying to smother his ire: “Today for the evening tea I am going to prepare your favourite ‘Mysore Poli’ and crunchy ‘Vegetable Pagodas.’ But, I am looking forward to your help in the kitchen.”
Husband: “You are whipping up Kolaveri (murderous rage) in me and turning me into a different kind of a man.”
Stunned wife: “Are you going to kill me, what?”
Husband condescendingly: “No darling. You have created sufficient stress in me and to fend it off I have to sing the famous Kolaveri song again and again. Singing it and dancing to its tunes will make me a different man and pep me up sufficiently to do all the things you have listed.” In a teaser he added: “Would you like to join me? We can dance together!”
Why so?
Teacher: Can any one of you say why carrots are good for the eyes?
Student 1: You only said it, Miss, in the class yesterday. That’s why. We trust you.
Student 2: Our text book says so, Miss. It is in print. I read it last night.
Student 3: I know that rabbits love carrots and eat a lot of them. And they do not wear spectacles.
True prediction
A few leading astrologers and numerologists joined together and launched an online facility titled Stars-n-Planets offering a variety of services. As a gesture of goodwill to mark the inauguration, their system invited interested married persons to answer its four questions and in return get free of charge an apt description of them.
A clever housewife wanted to fool the system and see what would happen. She logged into the website of Stars-n-Planets and clicked on the button ‘go.’ The first question popped up: “Name a king you don’t like.” Bent upon misleading the system, she typed “CooKING,” as she hated all kitchen-related work and had never cooked before her wedding.
The second question: “Name a king your spouse likes.” The home-maker replied, “ClicKING.” Her husband was a computer engineer, who spent a lot a time in front of the machine and loved to play with other modern hand-held electronic gadgets.
The next question: “Name a king you both don’t like.” The woman responded, “BanKING.” The couple had seen several of their friends suffer from the collapse of banks in the past and, moreover, the rate of interest they got on their deposits was meagre.
The last question: “Name a king you two like very much.” She answered: “WalKING.” The husband and wife were both gym frequenters and fitness freaks. For them their health was of primary importance, as there was none to take care of them if they fell ill.
The housewife turned anxious to see what the system was going to say about her. After a minute of agonizing silence, the prediction flashed: “You are a typical Non-Resident Indian, torn between the happiness of the homeland and the dazzle of the dreamland!”
December 3, 2011 (650 words)
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