HUMOUR UNLEASHED -- 17
(Compiled by Subbaram Danda)
Laughter causes changes in brain chemistry
through production of feel-good substances
called endorphins. This elevates one's mood.
Girls, it’s your choice
A leading Indian matrimonial bureau organized a novel programme for girls of marriageable age -- “Choose your life partner yourself.” It took on rent a place with several large rooms, in which it displayed poster-size photographs of boys with their background information grouped on the basis of their personal attributes. The event was well publicized in newspapers and television channels. Girls were invited to come and make their own selection. If a girl liked a boy, she could call for him, have a discussion and proceed further.
A group of girls went there on the first day. They saw a sign on the first room: “Handsome but not affluent.” The girls had reservations about boys of this category. “What is the use of marrying a boy, who does not have sufficient money to spend even if he is handsome? We cannot enjoy life,” one girl commented.
They moved to the second room, on which it was written: “Affluent but not educated.” They felt that these boys would be rude and crude and are not worth going in for.
The third room announced: “Educated but not employed.” The girls rejected these boys outright.
The sign on the next room said: “Employed but not socially-oriented.” The girls had their own doubts about these boys.
“Socially-oriented but not intelligent” was the board on the door of the fifth room. The girls were not convinced.
When the girls saw the legend on the next room, they were thrilled. It flashed: “Handsome, affluent, educated, employed, socially-oriented and intelligent.” They rushed in but found not even a single poster. On an inner room door they saw a bold sign, which said: “You are too choosy. You can place an order here mentioning your requirements – Mars Robotics Limited. Thanks for coming.”
For a fee!
The judge: “It is a daredevil highway robbery executed with super precision. A celebrity is in hospital with nervous breakdown. It is amazing. How can it be done?!”
The accused: “My Lord, it is not very difficult. I learnt it in a foreign country. But I can teach you here itself. I am sure you can pick it up easily. But you have to pay me a fee of Rs.1 lakh.”
The judge furiously: “What are you talking?”
The accused: “No bargaining, my boss. You can get it back in one hold-up!”
Ambition unfulfilled
A young villager was excited, when he heard that a long-awaited film starring his most favourite hero was going to be released the next Friday. He made arrangements with a friend in the neighbouring town to be at the first show on the first day. He watched the film and was thrilled to find that his hero donned a daringly different role.
He saw the film again the next day, buying the ticket in the black. On the following day too he came to the cinema. On the next three days as well he was there.
The usher noticed the villager and wondered why he was watching the same film repeatedly, paying a high price for the ticket. He stopped him and enquired.
The villager: “In the last scene my hero sits on a bench in a park waiting for his lover to come. I read in newspapers that it is this girl that he is going to marry in real life. I think this is the most fantastic way of introducing his bride to his fans.”
“So you saw her and want to see her again and again?!”
The villager: “No, in the film, in front of the hero runs a railway line. When his lover enters the scene, a train thunders past obscuring her face. After it is gone, there is a long shot, in which the hero leaves the park with his right hand thrown on her back and both disappear in darkness. I was disappointed.”
“That’s it. Why do you want to see the same shot again and again?” the usher asked.
“Don’t think I am a dunce. I know in India trains do not always come on time. One day, this train would come late and I would be able to see the face of my hero’s fiancee in close-up. It is my ambition.”
October 22, 2011 (740 words)
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