HUMOUR UNLEASHED -- 03
(Compiled by Subbaram Danda)
Laughter is highly infectious. Spread it generously.
Think positively
A renowned cardiologist advised his patient: “Always maintain your cool. Never brood over events, past, present or future. Think positively.”
The patient: “I value your advice, doctor. But in my case it looks like impossible to put it into practice. I simply get worked up over my expenses.”
The doctor: “Meditate for at least 15 minutes a day. That will give you ideas on how you can check your expenses. I am sure you can find a way out. Think positively.”
After a month the patient visited the cardiologist for another consultation. The doctor, after checking his blood pressure, pulse rate and heart beat, said: “Great. You look far better and cheerful now. Hope you are following what I have said.”
“Yes, doctor. I am no more worried about my expenses. I am always thinking positively. You see, I have not brought my purse today.”
The cardiologist’s heart missed some beats and his blood pressure shot up by a few notches.
Scary feeling
The heart specialist, while examining another patient, pointed to a sign on the wall of his clinic “Cigarette smoking is injurious to health” and told him in clear terms, “You have been smoking as many as 20 cigarettes a day. You have to give up this habit totally forthwith. If this continues, nobody can save you.”
Patient: “I find myself helpless, doctor. I am unable to resist the temptation.”
The cardiologist: “Remember every time you light a cigarette, it burns and reduces to ashes not only itself but you as well. That scary feeling should help.”
The patient went home. He visited the clinic after a month for his next consultation. He looked somewhat cheerful. He informed the doctor, “I have diligently followed your advice and have not gone anywhere near the cigarettes. I have successfully switched over to cigars!”
Yama or doctor ?
God appeared in the dream of a patient undergoing treatment in a hospital and asked him, “Tell me frankly whom do you despise most – Yama, the God of Death, or doctor, whom you approach every time you fall ill?
Pat came the reply, “Of course, it is the doctor.”
God: “Why do you say so?”
Patient: “Yama takes away only life -- in one shot. But the doctor takes away both life and money -- in tortuous instalments.”
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