HUMOUR UNLEASHED -- 13
(Compiled by Subbaram Danda)
"There is hope for the future, because
God has a great sense of humour."--
Bill Cosby, American comedian
Husband turns mod
A woman to her husband: “Hi, I have been watching you for quite some time. You have been following your own old ways in whatever you do. You should keep changing. See your hair-style. It is archaic.”
Husband: “OK, darling. Tomorrow you will see me with the most modern hairdo, I promise.”
Next day he went to an ultra top-class saloon and came back after a high-fly hair-cut. She was pleased.
After a year, his wife advised him again: “You are making some progress but are still slow to change. Look at your dress, shoes and watch. They are all outmoded. You should always look trendy.”
The husband switched over to new styles of wear, and his wife was very pleased.
Another year passed. His wife was at it once more. “Look here, my dear. You should move forward on the fast-track. Our car has become an antique piece, fit enough to enter the vintage club.”
The very next day the two went to the show-room of a limousine manufacturer to buy a model that boasted of brand new features. The lady was most pleased.
A year later, the wife started preaching him yet again: “I am happy you have picked up speed in looking for the latest. But that won’t do. Your outlook in life should also change keeping pace with the up-beat moves in the society….”
The husband interjected and said, “Yes, yes, you are absolutely right. I wish to tell you that I am now in a position to appreciate your views. Your constant brain-washing has totally altered my way of thinking. I have now become the most sophisticated guy. At present I am itching to change my wife – you! I have been living with you for pretty long.
Cardiologist’s prayer!
All of a sudden a cardiologist, known for his atheistic views, started visiting a temple every day. This development raised many eye-brows among his patients and in his neighbourhood.
One patient asked a person, who is supposed to be in the knowledge of things, “What is the secret behind the doctor visiting the temple regularly now-a-days. Is he currently treating any VIP, for whose speedy recovery he is praying so that he can get good publicity in the media?”
The person: “I don’t think so.”
The patient: “Does he want more and more patients to come to his clinic so that his practice can thrive?”
The person: “No, it is more personal.”
The patient: “Does the doctor want God’s intervention in getting a medical seat for his daughter?”
The person: “No, it has deeper connotations.”
The patient: “Why don’t you be more specific?”
The person: “The doctor is not duly qualified. People have started suspecting his bona-fides."
The patient missed a few heart-beats.
The patient missed a few heart-beats.
Lord Vinayaka decides!
It was the time, when the fast of social activist Anna Hazare fighting for enactment of a powerful legislation to root out corruption in India entered the tenth day. Talks between the Central Government and the activist broke down. A break-through was not in sight. Parliament proceedings came to a standstill. As doctors warned about the deteriorating condition of the fasting senior, tension mounted everywhere in the country.
At this juncture, an independent observer had a dream. In it, he saw a leading politician of the ruling coalition at the Centre going to a famous Vinayaka temple and praying: “God, save the government from this worst crisis. We appear to be in a hopeless mess. Be merciful. I will break 100 coconuts.” Watching all this from a distance was a staunch supporter of Anna Hazare. Somewhat enraged, he rushed to the sanctum and said with folded hands: “God, Anna should succeed in this monumental matter. I will break 200 coconuts.” (Breaking coconuts in temple premises if a wish is fulfilled is a traditional practice.)
Lord Vinayaka was amused. He wondered, “How can anyone put an end to corruption in this country?”
August 27, 2011 (680 words)
***
