Saturday 19 July 2014

HUMOUR UNLEASHED -- 29



THE GOD'S DILEMMA
(Compiled by Subbaram Danda)




Sparkling humour enriches one's life.  It is 
similar to a grand palace showcasing
the prominence of a king.


The “impossible” wish

A good-natured old man was also very pious.  He spent at least an hour every day praying.  Once when he was meditating, God appeared before him and said, “I am very pleased with you.  I am granting you a wish.  Tell me what you want.”

Overwhelmed, the man replied: “My Lord, many thanks for your kindness.  I love my wife immensely.   I have been married to her for the past fifty years.  I would like to build for her, even when she is alive, an edifice like the Taj Mahal.  It should be more beautiful, more profound and more magnificent than it.  Now that you are granting me a wish, please build it for me.”

God:  “My dear devotee, you know how complicated Indian rules and regulations are.  It would be an uphill task even for me to please all politicians and bureaucrats and obtain all clearances.  Think of something else.”

The man racked his brains for a while and replied, “OK, my Lord.  One thing has been nagging me for long.  Though I have lived with my wife all these years taking good care of her, I have not been able to fully understand her.   My alternative wish is an answer from you for a straightforward question -- what does a woman expect from a man that will totally satisfy her?”

God:  “OK.  OK.  You want your Taj Mahal in white marble or in the rare golden-hued granite?”  


God is great

A devotee to a sage: “Your Holiness, for long several questions about God’s creation have been pestering me.  For instance, can you please explain why giraffes don’t lay eggs but directly give birth to a calf?”

The sage: “Giraffes being tall, eggs dropped from that height will break.  God knows what he does.”

The devotee: “Why creepers lay pumpkins on the ground?”

The sage: “Otherwise, the weighty pumpkins will break from a fall.  God is really wise.”

The devotee, determined to corner the sage: “Then, why coconuts are found only atop tall trees?”

For a moment the sage appeared baffled.  But soon he regained his composure and replied emphatically:  “They do not break even if they fall on their own because of a thick fibre shield and a strong crust.  God is great.”


Fastest message-carrier      

Teacher:  “Now that the telegram has been consigned to antiquity in India, what is the fastest way of communicating?”

Student A: “SMS.  Now-a-days everyone has a cellphone.”

Student B: “E-mail.  The internet has penetrated everywhere.”

A third student intervened and shouted:  “Sir, still the surest and fastest way of communicating is to share a message with a woman and request her to keep it confidential.  It will spread like wildfire.”


Anagram

As we know, anagram is a word or phrase constructed by rearranging the letters of another word or phrase.

Once a young daughter-in-law was asked to make an anagram out of “mother-in-law.”  Her answer: “Woman Hitler.”

(Ends)