OH, INDIAN WEDDINGS!
(By Subbaram Danda)
The university results of M.Phil. (Sociology) were on expected lines. Vamsika stood first in her class of ten students. Her thesis was titled “Indian Weddings: The Hidden Dimension of Their Expenses.” It received a "highly commendable" endorsement.
Her findings were an eye-opener for many. An upper middle-class prestige-conscious South Indian resident spent around Rs.10 lakhs on the wedding of his daughter. A big slice of it went for food. A catering contractor charged a minimum of Rs.250 per head for lunch or dinner. The rental for a reasonably good hall in a central location was Rs.3 lakhs for the entire occasion. Expenses for video and photographic coverage and flower decorations would be around Rs.3 lakhs. Lying outside the purview was the outgo on gifts to relatives and friends, jewels and costumes for the bride and the groom and honeymoon trips. If the wedding was organized in a five-star hotel or a resort, the financial outflow would scale starry heights.
The research findings produced a deep impact on Vamsika’s psyche. Was this necessary and essential? She was an independent thinker always standing for high values and simple living, though she hailed from a fabulously rich Chennai-based family. Her father was the chairman of several companies, all doing exceedingly well. He, unlike her, was a man of flamboyant lifestyle. He always looked for wows and kudos from his friends and relatives. At the same time, he stood for fair corporate practices. He was known for his generous give-outs to his employees and stakeholders. A job in one of his companies was the dream of any aspiring youngster.
Colossal waste
Vamsika joined the National Institute for Study of Socio-Economic Changes as a Research Fellow. She continued to concentrate on her favourite subject of Indian weddings. One aspect that she probed further was the quantum of food that was wasted. She went through the results of a survey conducted by a respectable university on the amount of food consumed and discarded in weddings in a major South Indian city. The 500-odd marriage halls there accounted for about 85,000 weddings a year and the waste of “high quality food” amounted to a whopping Rs.339 crores annually! It would assume colossal proportions when projected to cover the entire country.
Was it desirable? It stirred the conscience of Vamsika. Sharing her views on the subject and helping her in her work was her senior colleague and another researcher Amaresh. Handsome and cool-headed, he hailed from a middle class family. He had witnessed the pangs of anguish that his father had gone through while arranging the marriage of his elder sister. Amaresh actively advocated simple weddings. The similarity of their minds gradually grew into unity of their hearts. In course of time their friendship blossomed into a mature relationship. They waited for a good opportunity to break the news to their parents. Vamsika was not sure whether her parents would agree to her selection of a boy from an ordinary middle-class family to be her life-partner. Amaresh wondered whether his mother and father would not be wary of having an affluent girl as their daughter-in-law.
Strangely, the two encountered no major hurdles. Vamsika’s father was, in fact, happy that his only daughter could find a boy, whose likes and tastes matched with hers. However, he was aware that she would demand a simple wedding ceremony, to which he was totally opposed. So, in exchange for his consent to the marriage he wanted her to agree unconditionally to his way of conducting it. Her arguments to convince him fell on deaf ears. Finally, she nodded reluctantly. “Your marriage will be unprecedented and historic in style and pompousness,” her father declared to her chagrin. Amaresh too managed to turn his parents round to his views.
Strategy with a purpose
Vamsika and Amaresh held a series of personal discussions on how they should conduct themselves during their wedding. They decided that they should not be a source of embarrassment to their elders. The best course for them would be to lie low till the celebrations were over. They evolved a strategy and a plan of action, which they wanted to unfold and put into practice after the wedding formalities were through.
Preparations for the wedding commenced well in advance in all earnestness. A band of reputed Kashmiri pundits was contracted to conduct the ceremony according to sacred Vedic traditions. They would co-ordinate with the local family priests. The invitation itself was classy. It was a long scroll of filigree-trimmed red silk cloth printed in golden letters with details of all events. It was inserted in an ornamental roll, on which the name and address of the invitee was hand-caligraphed.
The largest hall in the city with swanky features was engaged for the three-day show. Rooms and suites in two five-star hotels were booked for the outstation guests and celebrities. A fleet of twenty cars and vans were pressed into service to pick up invitees from the airport and railway stations and transfer them to the hotels. A wedding tabloid and a special website appeared a fortnight earlier to put out daily developments. Employees of the group companies of the bride’s father received a special three-month bonus. A one-to-one bonus issue was declared for shareholders.
The largest hall in the city with swanky features was engaged for the three-day show. Rooms and suites in two five-star hotels were booked for the outstation guests and celebrities. A fleet of twenty cars and vans were pressed into service to pick up invitees from the airport and railway stations and transfer them to the hotels. A wedding tabloid and a special website appeared a fortnight earlier to put out daily developments. Employees of the group companies of the bride’s father received a special three-month bonus. A one-to-one bonus issue was declared for shareholders.
The parents of the bride were very happy that everything was going on as planned without any hitch. But Vamsika and Amaresh were ill at ease that they had to be mute witnesses to goings-on around them, which were totally against their liking. “It is the irony of life,” they felt but could not help it.
Extravaganza total
The evening of the first day of the extravaganza witnessed formal betrothal and reception. First, the bride and the groom went to a nearby temple in a four-horse-drawn classily-decorated chariot especially brought down to the city from Rajasthan. As they returned from the temple and entered the hall to the accompaniment of Vedic chants and traditional Nadaswaram music, their diamond jewellery and special attire reflected resplendently in the bright lights. She sported a brocade sari in purple colour, a sign of royalty, specially woven in Surat, while the groom wore a designer-made cream-shaded silk sherwani.
The marriage hall itself resembled a fairy-tale palace with a colourful arch at the entrance, flower decorations inside, white plaster statues and big LED television sets at vantage points. In the compound outside, mehendi stalls and bangles for ladies, candies and toys for children, soft drinks and beverages for all and exotic music bands were the attractions. Celebrities from every walk of life and the officialdom vied with each other in greeting the couple and making presents. The buffet dinner was a gala affair with an extensive spread of South Indian, Gujarati, Bengali and Punjabi dishes. A variety of ice creams, sweets and fruits constituted a flavour-rich finale.
The second day morning was for Muhurtham, when the ceremonial tying of the knot took place. The costumes and jewellery worn by the couple were the latest objects d’art. This occasion also saw a heavy turnout of relatives and friends. The whole of that evening and the third day were devoted to religious rituals.
In the lap of luxury
The honey moon for the couple was arranged in “The Palace on Wheels,” a special luxury train, and subsequently at a leading five-star hotel in Thimpu, capital of the Himalayan country of Bhutan and the mountainous paradise sought after by world travellers. They left Chennai by a morning flight to New Delhi to catch the train. As the couple waved good-bye to a small group of relatives and friends at the airport, tears swelled in the eyes of Vamsika’s father.
In the flight Vamsika read an article on “The Economics of Social Expenses” in a financial daily. In essence, it said: “The unconscionable spending by rich individuals and corporate entities are in fact not bad at all. They help peacetime distribution of accumulated wealth and promote economic growth. They also boost employment opportunities in the tertiary and the unorganized sectors. For instance, a lavish wedding helps a number of cooks, servers, weavers, goldsmiths, artisans, small traders and a host of others in eking out their livelihood. Large corporate payouts encourage development of high-end segments of the economy like premium hotels, extravagant bungalows, posh automobiles and the like. While poverty feeds poverty, affluence beats poverty.” The husband and wife pondered over these views. Perhaps, Vamsika father’s philosophy of “enjoy and let others enjoy” was in tune with this argument. However, they were not convinced.
“The Palace on Wheels” was a moving wonder of the Indian Railways. It transformed every guest into a monarch to savour the delights of the erstwhile royal Rajasthan in regal splendour. The train had 14 posh coaches, each displaying legendary princely exuberance of the state. Every coach had four twin-bedded salons elegantly decorated with ethnic motifs. Modern facilities included channel music, intercom, DVD player, wall-to-wall carpeting and attached toilets with hot and cold water showers. Each salon had a personal attendant. Two restaurants, a common lobby and a library added to the conveniences offered. The train took the couple to almost all tourist destinations of Rajasthan and also to famous Agra. The seven-night Delhi-to-Delhi round trip cost each of them 4,025 US dollars (yes, more than Rs.2 lakhs) as it was the peak season. After the lap-of-luxury trip, which did not amuse them, the two took a flight to Thimpu.
Fairytale trappings
As they landed at the Paro international airport, 65 kilometres away, a charming Guest Relations Manager of the five-star hotel, where their accommodation had been booked, received them and led them to a waiting white limousine. A glistening cocoon of moving opulence, it had all modern trappings – an LED TV screen, telephone, DVD player, assortment of fresh towels and refrigerator with soft drinks and fruits. Its drive resembled a swan’s glide on a placid lake.
The hotel had an impressive façade reflecting the local culture and architecture. The lobby presented a fairytale atmosphere with glistening marble flooring, Venetian chandeliers, famous murals, lifelike statues and demure lighting. A smiling escort accompanied them to the third floor, where their Cupid Suite was located. As they entered it, a shower of red and pink petals of rhododendron flowers and scented water greeted them.
The suite was well patronized by high net worth honey-mooners. It had two spacious rooms, one with a circular rotating bed, on which their names in blushing petals of white magnolia had been artistically arranged. Heart-shaped silicon-filled red silk pillows along with regular ones and a large painting of Omar Khayyam on the wall opposite to the door added a touch of fantasy to the romantic ambience of the room. A medium-sized fridge stacked an assortment of soft drinks, liquors, chocolates, dry fruits and nuts. This suite cost them Rs.60,000 plus taxes per night. Vamsika and Amaresh did not, however, relish anything. Nor did they show any interest in sight-seeing. They looked forward to moving back to their home city.
Surprise and shock
When they returned, a surprise was awaiting them. Vamsika’s father had invited a small group of their relatives, friends and company directors to make an announcement. He said with a contended look on his face: “I have had a fruitful life. I have achieved everything a man could aspire for – money and materials, awards and accolades, name and fame. It is now time to give up everything, particularly my passion for ostentation, and lead a truly austere life. I draw inspiration from Vamsika. I and my wife would be shortly joining the Ashram of our guruji in Rishikesh for seeking the everlasting divine grace. I am entrusting all my business to the care of Vamsika and Amaresh”
A strange blend of shock and disbelief enveloped all those present.
Breaking the silence, Amaresh rose to speak: “While Vamsika and I seek God’s blessings and your good wishes for discharging the onerous responsibility cast on our shoulders, we too have a few things to say at this juncture.” He paused and saw eagerness on everybody’s face. “We have decided to conduct 100 weddings of deserving couples a year free of charge in austere settings. Further, we have also decided to meet the educational expenses of 100 deserving boys and girls a year. We do not favour any programme to feed people every day, as it would make them lazy and unproductive.”
Vamsika’s father started clapping joined by others and the applause continued for several minutes. Amaresh and his wife stood touched by the response.
“We have one more announcement to make,” he continued. “We plan to set up a small group of dedicated persons to go to the help of people, when a death occurs in their families. It is these people who find it difficult to get things done and who deserve all support in that hour of great loss. The group will take care of all arrangements free of cost. It will extend its services to all irrespective of their caste, creed, religion and status.”
A standing ovation followed, as tears rolled down the cheeks of Vamsika and Amaresh.
November 17, 2012
(2,200 words)
