CORONA MUSINGS 2022

 

 

New year 2022 dawned with no end in sight for the fast mutating Corona virus.  Infection-controlling protocols and regulations continued to rule the roost.  People remained scared.  However, as the days and weeks marched by, some experts predicted that quite before the middle of the year the fast spreading virus variant Omicron would be a thing of the past, by and large.  People eagerly waited to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Interestingly, all these developments provided sufficient food for thought for humorists, who kept churning their creative pieces almost on a war footing.  Their imagination ran riot.  Savour these samples.

 

THE HUMOROUS FALLOUT OF THE CORONA

(A compilation by Subbaram Danda)

                                                                                                                      

       

                 

The prayer of a dutiful husband, who was on ‘Work from Home’ duty: 

“Oh God, in the first wave of the Corona I learnt how to wash clothes and dishes.   In the second    I learnt how to prepare breakfast and cook meals.  In the third I learnt how to make pickles and papads.  Tell me now in advance, God, what more is in store for me to learn in the fourth wave and the next.”

                          

                                               

A middle-aged woman met an old-time friend.  After exchanging pleasantries, their talk veered round to the behaviour of their husbands.

“I cannot buy even a sari without my hubby’s knowledge,” one woman rued.

“Why?”

“He will come to know of it easily, because he is the one washing clothes now-a-days.  He is on ‘Work from Home’ duty.”

 

 

The scene: Corona vaccine chasing Omicron, the latest variant.  The virus runs into an open house and closes the door.

Corona vaccine: Open the door or I will break into and catch you.

Omicron:  Wait. I am changing.  It is almost over.  Now you cannot do anything with me!

 

“I am now a graduate,” bragged Kumar when he accidentally met his good old school time friend Vish during his morning walk on the beach promenade.

“Really, congratulations,” Vish patted him on the back.  “I never knew that you went to college.”

“Oh, it is nothing like that.  They gave a certificate for the two anti-Corona shots I had.  Yesterday, I received the booster jab.  For that I am sure they will give me a degree,” Kumar replied laughing out loud.

 

Following the views expressed by some medical experts that the end of the fast mutating Corona virus is not in sight and that the people will have to learn to live with it, a resourceful builder conceived a new project with thoughtful features.

An advertisement of the builder in leading newspapers read: 

In our new ten-storey block every apartment will have an isolation room with a built-in pipeline for oxygen supply.  A facility for oxygen production will also be set up within the premises itself.  A tie-up has been made with a leading pharmacy for delivery of medicines at the doorstep.  Nursing services will be available round the clock.  Supply of special food to meet the requirements of the inmates will be arranged too. 

Last but not the least – A gift.  Persons making the first 20 bookings will receive free an oxymeter and a pack of 50 masks.

 

 

Two friends were at the bar for quite some time.  One of them told the other, “Hey, you have been gulping fast and already consumed two fulls.  It is time to quit.  Let’s go.”

“What,” he retorted. “The first two will have no effect, unless you take a booster!”

 

 

 

Till the scourge is brought under control, let us strictly follow the advice and the guidelines issued by the government organizations and reject suggestions by quacks.  It is in our own interest!  Let us keep our fingers crossed.

 

January 27, 2022

 

YEAR-END CORONA MUSINGS

 

Year 2020 is drawing to a close, with the Corona pandemic showing no signs of abating.  On the other hand, new mutations of the virus  have surfaced creating a fresh wave of a scare.

While the emergence of the virus was correctly foretold by American author Sylvia Browne, who claimed to possess psychic powers, her rider that it would "suddenly vanish as quickly as it arrived" has proved totally false.  Now it is anybody's guess when this deadly scourge will disapper from the earth.  It should be sooner than later with various vaccines hitting the scene. I remain optimistic.

THE COMIC SIDE OF THE CORONA

(By Subbaram Danda)

  

If there is one thing that has mercilessly rocked the world causing unprecedented misery all around, it is Covid 19.  At the same time, it has also set humour writers on a hyperactive mode, resulting in creation of jokes on a hitherto unknown scale. Here are some unusual ones that will certainly tickle your ribs. 

At the beginning of 2020, an astrologer predicted: "Right through the year positivity will engulf the entire world.  Every nook and corner will witness its impact."

At the end of the year a critic commented: " Very true. Corona positive cases exploded on an unprecedented scale every day everywhere."

 

In view of the prolonged lockdown that confined people indoors, television channels have been airing old hits, particularly epics like Mahabharat, to  keep them engaged. Incidents from these TV shows were invariably recalled when people made phone calls to their near and dear ones.

One morning Surya phoned his friend Krishna, whom he had not called for several days. "Hi Krish, how are you? How is everybody at home?"

"Hi Surya, what shall I say? It is Mahabharat every day here. Clashes followed by clashes. How is life at your end?"

"It is great, Krish.  I have been scrupulosly following what Gita says.  I should admit without any hesitation that my life has been really blissful."

"That is fantastic. I never knew you are such an ardent follower of our religious texts.  Hats off to you."

"Oh! Nothing like that," the friend continued. "Hope you remember Gita is my wife's name."

He was standing in a queue to enter a supermarket to purchase groceries.  Suddenly a bulky woman in the front let out a loud fart.

He got upset.  Before he could say anything, she turned back and said, "If you have heard it, then you have not maintained the requisite distance from me in these Corona times.  And if the smell has hit your nostrils, you have not worn your face mask correctly.  You are at fault, not me.  Don't stare at me."

He became speechless.

It was a big fat Indan wedding, despite the Corona.  It was celebrated imaginatively without flouting any norm.  Invitations were sent out through courier to all near and dear ones.  It read, "Kausalya and Mahesh invite you to the webcast of the Wedding Muhurtham of their daughter Swathi with Karthik on Saturday, December 12, 2020 between 09:00  and 10:30 a.m. Kindly watch the wedding ceremony at www.weddingcast.com/swathi-karthik."

A close reading confirmed that it was not an invitation to be present at the ceremony but only to watch it online.  Thoughtfully, the actual place of the wedding was not mentioned in the invitation.

What was attractive was the last sentence in the invitation. "We request you to honour us by accepting the 'kalyana saappadu' (wedding feast), which will be delivered to your home on the Muhurtham day around 11:00 a.m."

To say the least, the feast was fabulous.  There were as many as 20 savoury items and half a dozen sweets neatly packed in casseroles and shoved into orange baskets.  Banana leaves were not forgotten.  There was a gift as well.

 

The humorous depictions have scaled new heights of imagination.  There are many.  They have flooded the social media.  Sample the following that amusingly look at the concepts of 'Work from Home, Masking and Social Distancing.'

 

 

 

Let us pray for disappearance of the scourge from this planet at the earliest. Sure, that will also give rise to humorous outbreaks !

December 28, 2020.

 

BHUMI PUJA FOR RAM MANDIR

As vedic chants reverberated in a large profusely flower-bedecked temporary hall, Prime Minister Narendra Modi performed Bhumi Puja on Wednesday for a magnificent temple for deity Ram at his birth place in Ayodhya. The Prime Minister sat on the floor in front of a rectangular pit containing some of the “bricks” received for the ceremony and a few other religious articles.  The priests and a few prominent persons sat around the pit.  The leisurely puja culminated at 12-44 p.m., exactly at the auspicious moment set by the astrologers for the purpose.

The profusely flower-bedecked hall for Bhumi Puja

Earlier, after arriving from Delhi the Prime Minister straight proceeded, accompanied by Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister Yogi Adityanath, to the ancient Hanuman Garhi temple in the city and offered prayers as per the traditional practice.  He then went to the provisional temple of Ram Lalla, the infant Ram, and prayed there after prostrating.  In that premises he also planted a Parijat sapling (the night jasmine).

After the Bhoomi Puja, Modi addressed an invited gathering.  He made an assurance that a grand temple will be built for Ram Lalla, who had been living in the temporary pavilion for years.  “Ram is a thread that strings together various entities and ensures India’s unity in diversity.  The temple will fulfill the longstanding desire of the people,” he said.

The Prime Minister unveiled a plaque to commemorate the ground-breaking ceremony and also released a special postal stamp to mark the occasion.

Crores of people and devotees all over the world watched the entire programme live on television sets or other electronic devices .  The entire city of Ayodhya wore a festive look. 

A COMPILATION OF PHOTOS

(By Subbaram Danda)

Hanuman Garhi temple

Modi praying at Hanuman Garhi temple

The provisional shrine of Ram Lalla, infant Ram

Modi offering prayers at Ram Lalla shrine

The Prime Minister planting a Parijata sapling

Modi performing Bhumi Puja sitting in front of a pit

The Prime Minister addressing a select gathering of invitees

The invitees

August 06, 2020

RAM MANDIR: A CURTAIN RAISER

The stage is all set for a historic spiritual event on Wednesday, August 5, 2020 – bhoomi puja at Ayodhya in Uttar Pradesh for a magnificent temple for Hindu deity Ram gloriously celebrated in the Indian epic Ramayana. Ram is an avatar of Vishnu and Ayodhya on the banks of the Sarayu river is his birth place. The occasion will be grand but serene in view of the prevailing Corona pandemic.

MARVELLOUS MANDIR FOR RAM

(By Subbaram Danda)

When completed in the next few years, the temple will be a spectacular edifice of its kind in the world. According to present indications, it will be a three storeyed ornate structure with an octagonal garbhagriha (sanctum sanctorum). It will stand 161 feet tall, 268 feet long and 140 feet wide with 5 domes and 318 pillars. Another sparkling feature is that there will be 24 marble doors. Around the main building there will be several smaller shrines for various other deities. A wide pathway will take devotees to the temple. 

A model of the proposed Ram temple

On completion, the temple will be the third most marvellous Hindu shrine in the world. The first one, Angkor Wat in Cambodia, was built in the 12th century dedicated to Vishnu. It was later converted into a Buddhist place of worship. The second one is the architecturally splendorous Ranganathaswamy temple in Srirangam, Tamil Nadu, also dedicated to Vishnu.

At the ground breaking ceremony, a 40-kg silver brick will be laid at the site of the sanctum along with several smaller ones of the same precious metal by Prime Minister Narendra Modi, vedic scholars and priests.

Ayodhya is full of heritage buildings. The most visited place is Hanuman Garhi temple. From a distance it looks like a small fort. It can be reached by climbing 76 steps. Hanuman appears in an unusual style in this temple. Young Hanuman is sitting on the lap of his mother Anjani. While scholars date the shrine as belonging to the 10th century, local traditions take it to more ancient times. There is also Dasarath Mahal, said to be the place, where Ram’s father Dasarath stayed. Kanak Bhavan is a temple dedicated to Sita, Ram and his three brothers. Looming over the city is Rajdwar temple with its soaring shikara. It is one of the town’s most distinctive structures with a huge circular mandap.

Towers of the Hanuman Garhi temple

Dasarath Mahal

Kanak Bhawan

For the bhoomi puja, soil from many holy places and water from several sacred rivers have been collected. Special mention should be made of the collection of the ash offered during Bhasmaarthi at the Mahakaleshwar temple in Ujjain, Madhya Pradesh. According to scriptures, Ram during his stay in forests had visited Ujjain and offered prayers for Mahakaleshwar. Hanuman had also visited Ujjain and collected water from the Kshipra river there for an Ashwamedha yaga performed by Ram. Other places from where soil has been collected include Kamakhya temple in Assam, Ramanathaswami temple in Tamil Nadu, Chardham shrines, Gurudwaras and Jain temples.

Holy water has been procured from the Triveni sangamam of the Ganga, Yamuna and Saraswathi at Prayagraj, Tala Kaveri, Agni teertham at Rameshwaram, the confluence of the Indian Ocean, Bay of Bengal and the Arabian Sea and almost all Indian rivers.

Ram Janma bhoomi, where Ram was born in Ayodhya, has been a place of legal dispute for long. Originally there was a temple at the site and the Mughal King Babar constructed a mosque there razing it down. In 1850s the dispute surfaced in a violent form and in 1992 demolition of the Babri masjid was attempted. This led to further legislative and legal wrangles. Finally in 2019 on the orders of the Supreme Court the disputed land was handed over to a Hindu trust and an alternative site given to Muslims. Thus, the way was cleared for the setting up of a long-cherished temple for deity Ram.

Leading up to the great ground-breaking ceremony, preparations have been going on to deck up Ayodhya. Buildings on all main roads have been painted yellow. Scenes from Ramayana have been portrayed on walls at vantage points. Colourful lights in the night have turned the city into a magic land. The banks of the Sarayu river have received a make-over.

Bird's eye view of a section of Ayodhya

Sarayu river has a make-over

Buildings on leading roads have been painted yellow

Bihar’s Sitamarshi, birth place of Ram’s consort, has been tastefully decked up for the occasion. The town will hoist 2,100 saffron flags and the people will burst into bhajans and keertans to mark the occasion.

Façade lights have been installed at the numerous temples in Ayodhya.  Appeals have gone out to people all over the country and abroad to light diyas on August 4 and 5.

Several schemes have been announced to beautify the city on a permanent basis. A 16-kilometre stretch of a bypass road leading to Ayodhya will be spruced up with water fountains, Hanuman statues at intervals and gardens.

Ayodhya has become the cynosure of all eyes. No doubt, once the Ram temple comes up with all its splendour it would become the new wonder of the world.

August 04, 2020

CORONA Foretold ?

Has the outbreak of the dreaded Coronavirus been predicted?  Yes, I am inclined to believe. In general, I don’t accept prophetic claims, but this case is different.  I happened to see an article in the popular Bangalore-based English daily “Deccan Herald” on the subject some days ago.  Out of curiosity I did some research myself.  I was astonished to find some solid evidence to prove that the onslaught of the virus was indeed foretold as many as 12 years ago.

PROPHETIC VISIONS

(By Subbaram Danda)

Sylvia Browne, who is no more, was an American author, who claimed to possess psychic powers.  Several of her books were on “New York Times” best seller lists.  She was a regular participant in television and radio programmes, especially the famous Larry King shows.

In her book “End of Days” first published in 2008 she predicted on page 312, “In around 2020 a severe pneumonia-like illness will spread throughout the globe, attacking the lungs and the bronchial tubes and resisting all known treatments.  Almost more baffling than the illness itself will be the fact that it will suddenly vanish as quickly as it arrived, attack again ten years later, and then disappear completely.”

What made me to accept it as a real premonition?

First and foremost, the year 2020 was specifically mentioned.  The scourge was pin-pointed as pneumonia-like.  Its sweep across the globe was correctly highlighted. More importantly, the illness was precisely characterized as resisting all known treatments. The current Coronavirus contagion fits neatly into this description. So, it was not a shot in the dark. 

What remains to be seen is the revelation that it would suddenly vanish as quickly as it arrived and would attack again ten years later.

Sylvia Browne

Born on October 19, 1936 in Kansas City, Missouri, United States, Sylvia was a controversial person. Though she was very popular till her death, many of her predictions were off the mark.  This earned her several critics. In a Larry King show, she was asked to predict how long she would live.  Her answer was 88 years.  But she died when she was 77 – on November 20, 2013.

“End of Days” did not foretell where from the disease would emerge.  There is another book that carries a reference to Wuhan. We all know that it is this Chinese city that has been the epicentre of the ongoing Coronavirus outbreak. The book titled "The Eyes of Darkness" by American novelist Dean Koontz was published as many as 40 years ago.  I have gone through its e-version and it is fascinating.

The main story of the book revolves around a woman Tina, who goes searching for her young son Danny, who was believed killed in an accident but was only missing.  In her search she traverses several curious places and learns about bizarre developments.

One passage on page 353 kindles our interest.  It says, “….a Chinese scientist named Li Chen defected to the United States, carrying a diskette record of China’s most important and dangerous new biological weapon in a decade.  They call this stuff Wuhan 400 because it was developed at their RDNA labs outside the city of Wuhan and it was the four hundredth viable strain of man-made micro-organism created at that research center…”

The 1981 book was purely a work of fiction.  Why it is relevant today is that it has a reference to Wuhan.

When people talk of predictions, the name of Nostradamus, the 16^th century French prophet, will always crop up.  Has he made any prediction about the Coronavirus?

Nostradamus

Some people believe that he did predict its outbreak.  The following lines attributed to Nostradamus are cited in arguments supporting the prediction. 

 “The sloping park, great calamity,

Through the Lands of the West and Lombardy."

According to one interpretation, the sloping park refers to a garden in Wuhan. It is this Chinese city from where the virus emerged and swept through the west and other countries. What is significant is the specific mention of Lombardy, a region in northern Italy.  Its capital Milan is a global hub of fashion and finance. Interestingly, it is this Lombardy that stands worst-affected in the current Coronavirus calamity in tragically devastated Italy.  

Have there been any Indian predictions?

The popular Tamil daily “Dinamani” carried an article on January 28, 2020, where it quoted a paragraph from a Tamil almanac, which said, “Lethal creatures will create enormous hardship to the people.  One new virus ailment will emerge from the western direction.”  (Oru pudhiya virus noy merku dhikkil irundhu urpattiyagum.)  Though the almanac correctly talked about the emergence of a new virus, its direction of arrival was not correct. 

When will this virus vanish?

An Indian astrologer, whose views are making rounds on WhatsApp, has this to say:  The Karaka (perpetrator) of viruses is Rahu.  He is currently placed in the toxic star Arudra.  Only when he moves to the nectar star Mrigasira, this virus can be expected to completely go out of the world.   Between May 12 and 15, Rahu moves to Mrigasira.  Till then chanting Vishnu Sahasranamam and following medical advice will mitigate the hardship of the people.  

If one searches deeper, more predictions will surface.  Each is different in its own way.  Only test of time will prove which is correct.

March 22, 2020