HUMOUR UNLEASHED -- 08
(Compiled by Subbaram Danda)
"The moment computers learn to laugh,
man becomes their laughing stock."
The devil’s game
It was a game show on a popular television channel. The anchor would make five statements about a man and the contestant should infer from them the man’s qualities or characteristics. The winner and another person of his choice would be entitled to an all-paid week-long holiday in Switzerland.
There were ten contestants in the final stage and the following is an account of how the tenth participant fared:
The anchor: “Let us start now. The man regularly uses Fair and Handsome cream.”
The contestant: “He is a beauty-conscious person of dark complexion.”
The anchor: “Good. The man does not wear spectacles.”
The contestant: “He is young with good vision.”
The anchor: “Fine. The man wears different watches on different days of the week.”
The contestant: “He is fairly rich and showy, loves flaunting his possessions.”
The anchor: “Excellent. The man’s cell-phone rings very often.”
The contestant: “He is a go-getter with lots of friends.”
The anchor: “Great. Be ready for the last statement. Think over it carefully and take your own time before responding.”
The contestant: “OK, I am all set.”
The anchor: “The man says he has not encountered a devil yet.”
The contestant pondered over it for a minute, had a flash in his mind and replied: “He is not married yet!”
The next week the tenth contestant and his wife were seen enjoying a holiday in Switzerland.
Brilliance
Srinivasa Ramanujan is undoubtedly the greatest mathematician India has ever produced. His theories have startled the entire mathematical world. But for his untimely death, he would have certainly made further incredible contributions.
More light on him was thrown recently by Bruce Berndt, Professor of Mathematics at the University of Illinois and an authority on Ramanujan, who was in Chennai. In a lecture, he said that the “Notebooks” of Ramanujan contained more “results” on continued fractions than what all the mathematicians had together produced. That was the brilliance of Ramanujan.
Can you now guess what marks Ramanujan got in Mathematics, his favourite subject, in an examination when he was studying at Pachaiyappa’s College in Chennai?
Hold your breath. He obtained only 80 out of 150 – slightly over 53 per cent. How could this be?
This was because the portions for the examination were predominantly from Geometry, in which he was not comfortable! His forte was numbers, fractions, series and the like.
Which is which?
A man and his wife went to a hill station on a holiday. They visited a nearby restaurant for lunch. After the main courses were over, the man ordered beetroot pie for himself and carrot pie for his wife. When the server brought the sweets, they were discussing something feverishly. In order not to disturb them he placed the dishes on the table and left.
After a while, the man looked at the two plates and wondered which one was his. He smelled one plate and the aroma was peculiar. He called the server and asked him, “Which is which?”
The server: “Sir, now I cannot tell you. You please taste one and find it out for yourself.” With a grudge, the man took a spoonful from one, shoved it into his mouth and howled angrily, “Bull shit.”
The server: “Thank you, sir. Then it must be beetroot pie. Our carrot pie tastes like dog shit.”
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