HUMOUR UNLEASHED -- 07
(Compiled by Subbaram Danda)
"The humble onion can make you cry. But there is no mighty vegetable
that can make you laugh." -- American humorist Will Rogers
Changing minds
An elderly man and his wife, who had both been suffering from failing memory, went to a specialist one evening for consultation. The doctor told them, “I am prescribing you some tablets, which should help. At any rate, write down on a piece of paper whatever you want to do, even if they are very simple, and refer to them when you forget.”
Next morning they got up very late and the woman asked her husband to go to a restaurant and bring her two idlis and one vada for her breakfast. He himself could eat there itself whatever he liked. She told him to write it down and repeated that she wanted two idlis and one vada but he said nonchalantly, “Never mind. I can easily remember these two.”
After a while the man returned and handed two packets to his wife. She found to her horror that they contained pongal and uppuma! She retorted furiously, “You do not take the doctor’s advice seriously, nor heed my words. You have brought the items I hate. I only wanted Masala Dosa and Alu Poori!”
Different reason
It was a very large funeral congregation. The burial ground had not seen such a huge turnout in a decade.
A passerby became curious and approached a prominent-looking person in the crowd and asked him, “Sir, who is the person, who has passed away – a politician, an industrialist or a film personality?”
The person: “No, he is a doctor.”
The passerby: “Is he such a famous healer? You are all here in big numbers out of personal gratitude and regard for him?”
The person: “No, the reason for our presence is different. He is a torturer and an extortionist. We are all his victims. We want to ensure that he is buried unceremoniously. We will then celebrate his death with a big bash!”
Who is the child?
The Managing Director of a reputed company was about to retire. He had a discussion with his Chairman on choosing his successor and shortlisted three seniors for consideration – Amarnath, David and Ahmed. The Chairman told the MD, “Tomorrow you call all the three for a meeting. Let us give them an age-old riddle. Ask them to think over it for a day and come up with the answer. The riddle to be conveyed to them is: Years ago, your parents had a nice child of their own. But it is not your sister or brother. Who is that child? Whoever solves it will be the next MD.”
At the meeting next day the outgoing MD asked the three aspirants to write down the answer on a paper and bring it in a sealed envelope after 24 hours. The three did not want to miss the golden opportunity and decided to consult the best brains.
Amarnath went to prominent Hindu guru Sankaracharya to seek his blessings and also to find the answer to the puzzle. He narrated the riddle clearly word by word and requested the Acharya to reply to the query – who is that child? With a broad smile on his face, the religious leader said, “It is myself.” Similarly, David met Bishop Anderson and Ahmed approached Mullah Naqvi.
On the appointed day, the chairman opened the three covers and was aghast to see the answers – “The child is Sankaracharya,” “It is Bishop Anderson” and “The answer is Mulla Naqvi.” The chairman was furious and shouted, “What non-sense is it?” The MD: “Yes, sir, they are all wrong. The child is Sowbhagya, my wife.”
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