HUMOUR UNLEASHED -- 05
(Compiled by Subbaram Danda)
"A thing of humour is a joy forever"
Exemplary justice
A pilot and a doctor, on their death on the same day, are produced in the court of Yama, the Lord of Death and Dispenser of Justice.
Chitragupta, the chronicler of sins and noble acts of men on earth, pointing to the pilot says: “My Lord, he is the kingpin behind labour unrest in a major airline. He actively organized a crippling strike resulting in cancellation of many flights. Life-saving drugs could not be air-lifted and supplied to several terminal patients. Consequently they died prematurely. The strike also played havoc with holiday seekers. He blatantly disobeyed court orders.”
Yama: “No doubt, he has committed the most heinous crime. Send him to the House of Horrors and deep fry him in the burning oil cauldron.”
Now it is the turn of the doctor.
Chitragupta: “My Lord, here is a doctor who flouted all norms of decency. He is worse than the legendary Shylock. He collected exorbitant fees even from the poor. He made patients undergo unwanted tests and scans and received commission from the labs. In many instances he refused to treat even emergency cases….”
Yama: “Go on.”
Chitragupta: “In the latest case, this doctor turned back the pilot, whom you sentenced a few minutes ago, when the latter approached him following a heart attack. Without timely treatment he died. Enraged by this, the pilot’s supporters clobbered the doctor to death.”
Yama, after deep contemplation, said: “This is an interesting case. Taking everything into account, I am inclined to pronounce that hell is not the place for him. He should go to the House of Thousand Pleasures in heaven and enjoy himself as long as he wishes. He has dispensed exemplary justice in his last act by not treating the pilot. Hats off to him.”
Collection
A top industrialist ran into heavy debts, following collapse of his business. Rumours started floating that he was considering raising funds from all and sundry and if that failed, he would douse himself in petrol and commit suicide.
One day he stopped traffic on a major highway and moved from one vehicle to another frantically talking to the person at the wheel. Soon the entire area was in a jam not seen for years.
A traffic policeman appeared on the scene and made some enquiries. He too started going up and down restlessly moving from one car to another.
A puzzled onlooker approached the cop and sought to know what was really happening. The policeman hurriedly narrated the story of the indebted industrialist and said he was himself trying to make some collection for him.
The onlooker wanted to make a contribution himself and asked the cop, “Sir, how much you have been able to collect so far?”
“Not much,” he replied, “only half a litre of petrol.”
Instant placement
A man was interested in getting his son admitted in an engineering college of standing in the city. He was not satisfied with what his friends and relatives had told him. He wanted to make his own enquiries and started visiting one college after another.
When he entered an autonomous institution looking for some respectable-looking being to speak to, a man in a khakhi uniform approached him and said, “May I help you, sir? I am a messenger here.”
The father of the boy looked at him for a minute and asked him in a whisper, “Please tell me honestly, how good this college is. Will all the students get placed after their course is over and how soon?”
The person in khakhi replied at once, “Sure, sir. This is a college with its own standards. Every student can be sure of a job immediately after the pass-out. Don’t have any doubts.”
The man looked happy but wanted to probe further. “How do you say so?”
The messenger assured him, “Believe me, sir, I am an old student of this college and got this job the instant I passed my B.E.”
***
