Sunday, 21 September 2014

HUMOUR UNLEASHED -- 30



AH, HA ... THE  ASTROLOGER'S ADVICE
(Compiled by Subbaram Danda)





"Women prefer men with a sense of humour," 
according to a news report.  The reason:
The  witty  guys  are  entertaining, 
creative, social and confident.  
They make girls feel safe 
and get along well 
with the friends 
of the girls!



The advice and after

A fabulously rich couple had no children even several years after marriage.   The husband and wife consulted leading doctors but their counsel and treatment produced no results.  The dejected husband checked with an astrologer, who advised him to go in for a second marriage. 

One fine day, the husband broached the subject with his wife.  “The only solution to our problem appears to be a second marriage.  I want you to agree.”

The startled wife:  “What is wrong with you?  How can you think of such bizarre things?”

In a bid to win her over, the husband came up with tempting offers.  “I will buy you a posh bungalow, a brand new BMW car and a lot of jewellery.  Just say ‘yes’ to my idea.”

The woman wanted a day’s time to think over and decide.

The next day, she told him at the time of breakfast, “Okay.  I am agreeable.  But I have one condition.  The groom should be fair and tall, unlike you.” 


Ha, ha, ha, ……

I have developed a new skill.  I can read your mind.  Test me, if you like.   

Your time starts now. I am reading your mind.  I will predict what you are currently doing.  Follow my instructions without fail, please.  Silently read: ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, and ha.

Prediction 1:  You are impatient. You did not go through all the ‘ha’s. 

Have you noticed there is one ‘ho’ tucked inbetween?

Prediction 2:  You are now looking at the string of ‘ha’s and searching for the elusive ‘ho.’

Prediction 3:  You have completed your search for ‘ho’ and discovered there is no ‘ho’ out there!

Prediction 4: You are now smiling and laughing, alternately.

Prediction 5:  You realize that you have been taken for a ride.  You are now murmuring, still smiling.

A few minutes pass by. 

Prediction 6:  Now you are thinking of forwarding this to others and looking for a way!

My time is up and you are free to go to the top and read the entire post.  Enjoy yourself!


Novice

Wife: "Why are you home so early?"
Hubby: "My boss asked me to go to hell!" 


In letter and spirit

A sign on the outer wall of a government department said: “It is a punishable crime to give or take a bribe.”

Written below was a slogan: “Don’t believe in rumours.”

(Ends) 

September 21, 2014

Saturday, 30 August 2014

VINAYAKA CHATURTHI IN CHENNAI



THE LORD OF MANY FLAVOURS
(By Subbaram Danda)



VINAYAKA CHARTURTHI is celebrated in Chennai with a unique fervour and flavour.  A highlight is installation of large idols of the Lord, each showcasing a special feature, for worship at various strategic points in the city.

This idol at T. Nagar is made essentially of sugar crystals

A short drive around Mambalam, our place of residence, took us today to three distinctively different deities. The 14-ft statue of Ganesha on Venkatanarayana Road in T. Nagar near JYM Marriage Hall spread sweet fragrance all around.  It was made essentially of sugar crystals!  Another tall idol in Rangarajapuram was made of white sesame seeds!  The third one in the same area was Gajanana Ganesha, flanked by two elephants.


This tall statue at Rangarajapuram is made of white sesame seeds

Also at Rangarajapuram, this idol is flanked by elephants

It has become a fashion for people to go round the city, take a look at the various statues and share the information with friends and relatives through social networks like the FaceBook.

August 29, 2014


Monday, 28 July 2014

MY "MUNNAR" PHOTO WINS



TRIP ADVISOR'S HONOUR
(By Subbaram Danda)


This photo of mine capturing a scenic spot of Munnar in Kerala, India, has been selected by TripAdvisor as one of this week's "winning shots." TripAdvisor is an internationally famous and well-patronized tour advising organization.  It received a large number of photos from all over the world for this honour.  




Munnar is a stunningly enchanting hill station of Kerala, popularly called God’s own country. Undoubtedly, it is a place to spend one's time luxuriating in the lap of pristine nature. Situated at 6,000 feet above sea level, it offers everything one looks for in summer – pleasant greenery all around, salubrious weather, gently caressing breeze, occasional mild showers and mist-covered undulating hillocks in the background.  

Munnar, meaning three brooks, is at the confluence of three mountain streams.  It can easily be reached by road from at least three important South Indian cities – Cochin, Coimbatore and Madurai. 

July 28, 2014

Saturday, 19 July 2014

HUMOUR UNLEASHED -- 29



THE GOD'S DILEMMA
(Compiled by Subbaram Danda)




Sparkling humour enriches one's life.  It is 
similar to a grand palace showcasing
the prominence of a king.


The “impossible” wish

A good-natured old man was also very pious.  He spent at least an hour every day praying.  Once when he was meditating, God appeared before him and said, “I am very pleased with you.  I am granting you a wish.  Tell me what you want.”

Overwhelmed, the man replied: “My Lord, many thanks for your kindness.  I love my wife immensely.   I have been married to her for the past fifty years.  I would like to build for her, even when she is alive, an edifice like the Taj Mahal.  It should be more beautiful, more profound and more magnificent than it.  Now that you are granting me a wish, please build it for me.”

God:  “My dear devotee, you know how complicated Indian rules and regulations are.  It would be an uphill task even for me to please all politicians and bureaucrats and obtain all clearances.  Think of something else.”

The man racked his brains for a while and replied, “OK, my Lord.  One thing has been nagging me for long.  Though I have lived with my wife all these years taking good care of her, I have not been able to fully understand her.   My alternative wish is an answer from you for a straightforward question -- what does a woman expect from a man that will totally satisfy her?”

God:  “OK.  OK.  You want your Taj Mahal in white marble or in the rare golden-hued granite?”  


God is great

A devotee to a sage: “Your Holiness, for long several questions about God’s creation have been pestering me.  For instance, can you please explain why giraffes don’t lay eggs but directly give birth to a calf?”

The sage: “Giraffes being tall, eggs dropped from that height will break.  God knows what he does.”

The devotee: “Why creepers lay pumpkins on the ground?”

The sage: “Otherwise, the weighty pumpkins will break from a fall.  God is really wise.”

The devotee, determined to corner the sage: “Then, why coconuts are found only atop tall trees?”

For a moment the sage appeared baffled.  But soon he regained his composure and replied emphatically:  “They do not break even if they fall on their own because of a thick fibre shield and a strong crust.  God is great.”


Fastest message-carrier      

Teacher:  “Now that the telegram has been consigned to antiquity in India, what is the fastest way of communicating?”

Student A: “SMS.  Now-a-days everyone has a cellphone.”

Student B: “E-mail.  The internet has penetrated everywhere.”

A third student intervened and shouted:  “Sir, still the surest and fastest way of communicating is to share a message with a woman and request her to keep it confidential.  It will spread like wildfire.”


Anagram

As we know, anagram is a word or phrase constructed by rearranging the letters of another word or phrase.

Once a young daughter-in-law was asked to make an anagram out of “mother-in-law.”  Her answer: “Woman Hitler.”

(Ends)


Sunday, 25 May 2014

KALIMPONG'S COLOURFUL ATTRACTIONS


CACTI, PARKS AND SHRINES
(By Subbaram Danda)


Kalimpong is a major hill-station in West Bengal attracting a large number of tourists especially in summer.  Cool climate, natural sceneries, exotic nurseries, leisure parks, museums and shrines join together to make it a desirable destination for visitors.  Paragliding is another activity that has become very popular there.  The city is at a distance of about two and a half hours drive from Darjeeling. 

We set out in the morning for Kalimpong from Darjeeling in a hired car.   Along the 50-kilometre route we could see plunging gorges, variegated vegetation, occasional streams and human settlements on slopes.  The ghat road wound its way up and down the hilly terrain negotiating several tricky turns and twists.


Confluence of rivers

Shortly before reaching Kalimpong we stopped near a hair-pin bend at a place from where we could see two rivers -- the Teesta and its tributary the Rangit -- meet in a ravine below.  The two rivers originate in the Himalayan glaciers.  It was a lovely sight, which no visitor should miss.  The local people call it a “Lovers Link.”  It was an excellent opportunity to click nice photos.  A hot cup of tea and a packet of spicy potato chips from a stall there provided the much-needed refreshment in the breezy chill environment.  



Exotic cacti

Kalimpong is also known as the “City of Flowers” popular for its rare orchids, exotic blossoms and uncommon cacti.  It is an established exporter of several select varieties. Our first halt in the hill-station was at a private cactus and flower nursery.  Holding a ticket to see it, we entered the place with our own reservations but were astounded by what we found.  Pumpkin-sized cacti with ribs of thorns all over their surface and big yellow or pink flowers at the top were indeed a sight to behold.  They were nurtured and grown with all care in transparent tents. Thin tall cactus types could be seen standing upto a height of about eight feet.  Among the wide assortment of flowers, we could identify the eye-catching lilies, roses and bulbs.   





The hill with a difference

The highest point of Kalimpong is called Deolo Hill, from where one can have an unhindered 360-degree panoramic view of the city.  A beautifully landscaped garden has come up at the top to serve as a recreational arena with well-paved undulating pathways and a variety of flower beds and neatly-trimmed plants.  Several resting areas with benches under canopies have been provided at different points in the park.  A tourist lodge is also located in one corner.  Pony rides and zorbing ball rolling (a huge transparent sphere for children to get in and spin) are available there.   The hill serves as a well-patronized hub for paragliding activities.  We spent more than an hour walking round the place in the pleasant mid-day weather.  People who like walking will love it but others are advised to stay put near the gate.  





The Science Centre

The next attraction we went to was the Kalimpong Science Centre at a short distance from the Deolo Hill.  Set up in 2008, it showcases through exhibits the intricacies of scientific phenomena in simple terms to popularize them among students and the general public.  All branches of science find an expression there.  Children will certainly love the displays. The one item we enjoyed most was the “Miracle of Mirrors.”  A person standing behind a set of mirrors appears to onlookers as only a bust!  There is also an out-door science park.  Among its multifarious activities is one that facilitates formation of science clubs in educational institutions and elsewhere.  One cannot miss a long row of busts of renowned scientists in the lawn in front of the main in-door block.   





Towering Hanuman

Our next stop was at an open-air Hanuman shrine, where the Lord’s towering statue stands on a hillock approachable by a long stairway.  The image is in reddish vermilion colour with a glittering crown on the head and a triangular cloth flag of saffron colour fluttering.  We did not go up but could see the image from the entrance point on the roadside.



Buddha statue

Nearby there is a large colourful statue of Buddha on a raised open terrain.  Climbing a flight of steps we found ourselves in front of the image.  There was no one in the vicinity.  We spent just a few minutes seeing the statue and taking photographs.  


It was afternoon and it threatened to rain.  We decided to head back to Darjeeling.  After lunch at a local restaurant we began our return journey.  We reached our resort before dusk.  Though somewhat hectic, it was a worthwhile and enjoyable one-day excursion.

May 25, 2014  


   











Wednesday, 21 May 2014

IN DARJEELING ON A VACATION


THE CHARMS OF THE QUEEN
(By Subbaram Danda)


It was a delight to watch the snow-clad mountain of Kanchenjunga, the third highest peak in the world (28,209 feet), glistening alluringly against the backdrop of the blue morning sky close to the horizon.  Slow moving streaks of clouds playing hide and seek with the peak provided a touch of romance to the enchanting scene.  We were viewing the mountain from the precincts of a resort in Darjeeling, the Queen of Hill Stations in India, where we stayed – Sterling Silver Oaks.    


Son-in-law Sendil Kumar, daughter Aishwarya Devi, grand-daughter Divyashree, wife Sampuranam and myself were on a short summer sojourn in the hill station nestled in the foothills of the Himalayas in the state of West Bengal.  Darjeeling, meaning thunderbolt in the Tibetan language, attracts thousands of tourists every year from all over India and abroad.  Though our primary reason to head there was to enjoy its cool climate, we did not like to miss the other attractions that the city had to offer.  Our stay at the resort, which is located on a higher terrain at an altitude of 7,400 feet, while most other parts of the city have a lesser elevation, enabled us to take a good look at Mount Kanchenjunga.  Some hotels also have a view-point for the mountain.  


The Toy Train

For us another tempting appeal came from the Darjeeling Himalayan Railway, popularly known as the Toy Train, which runs on a two-foot narrow gauge track from the town of Kurseong to Darjeeling. It is the recipient of the World Heritage status accorded by the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural organization (UNESCO).   After flying from Chennai to the airport town of Bagdogra, we took a taxi to Kurseong and boarded the train.  Senior citizens can recall that the block-buster Hindi film of yesteryears “Aradhana” featuring Rajesh Khanna and Sharmila Tagore immortalized the Toy Train by including a song sequence “Mere Sapnon ki Rani” shot along the route.


It took three pleasingly meandering hours to cover the 30-kilometre distance.  For the most part the track ran alongside the ghat road with no separating wall or fence between the rail-line and the road.  So, when the train entered villages or towns, it came very close to street-side shops and had to keep hooting all the way.  People took everything in their stride and expressed no surprise or shock at the approaching train!   At one point on the way, it stopped for a few minutes on a siding to allow an on-coming train to pass by on the main track.   People in our train got down and found to their astonishment several vendors selling fresh vegetables having spread them on the ground close to the siding.   Soon our train resumed its journey and in unpopulated areas we could take a look at the steep valleys, occasional streams, tea estates and other verdant vegetation.  Softly caressing cool hilly breeze kept us in good humour.


Batasia Loop

At a place called Batasia, after the train passed the station of Ghum and about five kilometres before Darjeeling, it negotiated a sharp descent of about 1,000 feet in an incredibly marvellous fashion.  An imaginative engineering feat made this possible.  Here the train moved on a gently sloping large circular track.  After completing the loop it passed through a tunnel below the earlier track, thus making a smooth descent.   On both sides of the circular track, a well-tended beautiful garden with seasonal and perennial flower plants had come up.  At the centre of the loop, we could see a war memorial, opened in 1995 to commemorate the sacrifices made by Gorkha soldiers of the Darjeeling Hill in various wars after Indian independence.  On a raised platform stood a memorial pillar and a statue of a soldier paying homage.  


The Ropeway

The best way of appreciating the beauty of the hill-station in a panoramic setting is by taking a ride in the Darjeeling ropeway.  Buying tickets at the rate of Rs.150 per adult we got into a cable car and glided over the city watching closely-packed houses on its slopes, green valleys, sprawling lush tea gardens and ghat roads.  The 40-minute to-and-fro ride was exhilarating.  In summer time, we were told, there would always be a long queue to buy the tickets and to get into the cable car.  We stood in the line for about 45 minutes.  


Sunrise at Tiger Hill

A major item in the itinerary of many people vacationing in Darjeeling is an early morning visit to the Tiger Hill.  This is the highest point from where one can have a spectacular view of the sunrise, provided the weather is fine without any mist or cloud formation.  For this, one has to get up at 3:30 a.m., as the sun rises at about 4:30 a.m. in summer, and take a car to the site braving harsh cold winds!  The sun first emerges as an orange spot on the horizon and gradually grows into a ball of fire. The entire skyline of the mountainous terrain glows swathed in brilliant crimson light to the exhilaration of the sun gazers.  I and my wife were not witness to this spectacle, as we did not want to expose ourselves to the early morning biting chillness.   Our son-in-law, daughter and grand-daughter, however, made it.  


The Japanese Peace Pagoda

One attraction that left a lasting impression on us was the Japanese Peace Pagoda.  Located at a 10-minute driving distance from the centre of Darjeeling and completed towards the end of the last century, it is a dome-shaped Buddhist structure (stupa) on the slopes of the Jalapahar hill.  Designed as a symbol of world peace, it serves as a source of inspiration for people of all races and creeds to strive for global harmony.   It came up under the guidance of Japanese Buddhist monk Nichidatsu Fujii.  


The gleaming white pagoda presents Buddha in four postures.  Strikingly sculpted on its walls facing the four cardinal directions are large Buddha statues in four styles – sitting, sleeping, standing and meditating.   The images shine in rich golden colour.  Between them are realistically etched sandstone panels depicting the outstanding episodes in the life of the peace apostle.  Walking around the pagoda at the top level visitors can see from a close range the statues and the panels. 


We were told that similar pagodas have been erected in other parts of the world.  The Darjeeling pagoda is the tallest free-standing circular edifice in the hill station.  Its height is about 94 feet and diameter 75 feet.  From there one can watch the wonderful sights of Darjeeling.   In the same premises, there is a Japanese Buddha temple, which the visitors see first.  


Monasteries

There are several Buddhist monasteries in and around Darjeeling.  They are essentially shrines where people throng to offer prayers in front of large colourful Buddha statues.  We visited a monastery in the locality of Ghum close to our resort.  Belonging to the Tibetan school of Buddhism, it is said to be the oldest in Darjeeling, founded by a Mongolian monk in 1875.  There are also big open-air statues of Buddha at some points in the city.   


Himalayan Zoological Park

Visitors to Darjeeling make it a point to visit the Padmaja Naidu Himalayan Zoological Park named after the former governor of West Bengal.  Situated on a vast hilly terrain, it is said to be the only specialized zoo of its kind in India, internationally recognized for its conservation and breeding programmes aimed at saving the endangered animal species of the eastern Himalayas.   It houses some exotic types of high altitude animals such as red panda, black bear, snow leopard and yak, besides colourful Himalayan birds. 


Himalayan Mountaineering Institute

Located behind the zoological park is the Himalayan Mountaineering Institute, which functions as a centre of education and research in mountaineering.  Set up in 1954 at the instance of the then Prime Minister of India Jawaharlal Nehru, it also has a rich collection of models, paintings, sculptures, photographs, manuscripts, autographs and equipments of well known mountaineers.  Of interest is the “samadhi” of Nepal-born Tenzing Norgay, who was the first to step on the summit of Mount Everest in 1953 along with New Zealand’s Edmund Hillary.  


Tea Estates

There are numerous tea gardens in Darjeeling producing a wide variety of teas – black, green, white, blended, flavoured and scented.  They have their own distinctive taste, colour and aroma.  Darjeeling has acquired the reputation of being the world leader in high quality teas.  Climatic conditions, hilly slopes, appropriate soil and labour from nearby Nepal have all joined together to make this possible. Tea tourism, marked by visits to gardens and processing units with a possible stay there overnight, is getting good encouragement.  Of course, shopping for Darjeeling tea is a priority with tourists.


Mark Twain

Celebrated American writer Mark Twain had once described Darjeeling as a “land that all men desire to see.”  It is true even today but at the same time one cannot brush aside the appalling conditions in which the city finds itself.   The first impression that a visitor gets has nothing to write home about.  Bumpy narrow streets, shanty shops selling wares of all kinds, dirty public places and four-wheelers occupying every inch of road space are dampening pointers.  However, this view slips into oblivion, when one sees the other side of the coin and experiences the bounty that the nature has uniquely bestowed on the city in the form of Himalayan wonders, lush valleys and salubrious summer climate.  After all, the queen’s charms still stand out!


(All photos are our own)

May 21, 2014