CORONA MUSINGS 2022

 

 

New year 2022 dawned with no end in sight for the fast mutating Corona virus.  Infection-controlling protocols and regulations continued to rule the roost.  People remained scared.  However, as the days and weeks marched by, some experts predicted that quite before the middle of the year the fast spreading virus variant Omicron would be a thing of the past, by and large.  People eagerly waited to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Interestingly, all these developments provided sufficient food for thought for humorists, who kept churning their creative pieces almost on a war footing.  Their imagination ran riot.  Savour these samples.

 

THE HUMOROUS FALLOUT OF THE CORONA

(A compilation by Subbaram Danda)

                                                                                                                      

       

                 

The prayer of a dutiful husband, who was on ‘Work from Home’ duty: 

“Oh God, in the first wave of the Corona I learnt how to wash clothes and dishes.   In the second    I learnt how to prepare breakfast and cook meals.  In the third I learnt how to make pickles and papads.  Tell me now in advance, God, what more is in store for me to learn in the fourth wave and the next.”

                          

                                               

A middle-aged woman met an old-time friend.  After exchanging pleasantries, their talk veered round to the behaviour of their husbands.

“I cannot buy even a sari without my hubby’s knowledge,” one woman rued.

“Why?”

“He will come to know of it easily, because he is the one washing clothes now-a-days.  He is on ‘Work from Home’ duty.”

 

 

The scene: Corona vaccine chasing Omicron, the latest variant.  The virus runs into an open house and closes the door.

Corona vaccine: Open the door or I will break into and catch you.

Omicron:  Wait. I am changing.  It is almost over.  Now you cannot do anything with me!

 

“I am now a graduate,” bragged Kumar when he accidentally met his good old school time friend Vish during his morning walk on the beach promenade.

“Really, congratulations,” Vish patted him on the back.  “I never knew that you went to college.”

“Oh, it is nothing like that.  They gave a certificate for the two anti-Corona shots I had.  Yesterday, I received the booster jab.  For that I am sure they will give me a degree,” Kumar replied laughing out loud.

 

Following the views expressed by some medical experts that the end of the fast mutating Corona virus is not in sight and that the people will have to learn to live with it, a resourceful builder conceived a new project with thoughtful features.

An advertisement of the builder in leading newspapers read: 

In our new ten-storey block every apartment will have an isolation room with a built-in pipeline for oxygen supply.  A facility for oxygen production will also be set up within the premises itself.  A tie-up has been made with a leading pharmacy for delivery of medicines at the doorstep.  Nursing services will be available round the clock.  Supply of special food to meet the requirements of the inmates will be arranged too. 

Last but not the least – A gift.  Persons making the first 20 bookings will receive free an oxymeter and a pack of 50 masks.

 

 

Two friends were at the bar for quite some time.  One of them told the other, “Hey, you have been gulping fast and already consumed two fulls.  It is time to quit.  Let’s go.”

“What,” he retorted. “The first two will have no effect, unless you take a booster!”

 

 

 

Till the scourge is brought under control, let us strictly follow the advice and the guidelines issued by the government organizations and reject suggestions by quacks.  It is in our own interest!  Let us keep our fingers crossed.

 

January 27, 2022