HUMOUR UNLEASHED -- 12
(Compiled by Subbaram Danda)
There is a laughing bird, seen in some parts of Australia and perhaps elsewhere too. Called Kookaburra, it looks like an Indian sparrow but is of the size of a crow. With a white body its feathers are generally brown in colour. When it lets out shrieks, they sound like human laughter. That is it!
Your ‘worries’ welcome!
A display advertisement carried prominently on the front page of a newspaper said: “Ours is a new medico-social-legal consultancy organization designed to run on most modern lines. We offer totally different but satisfying solutions to all your problems, whatever they are.”
It went on: “We employ non-traditional management techniques to produce the desired results. This service is the first of its kind in the country.”
The last paragraph of the ad was more attractively presented. “Without any hesitation leave all your worries with us and go back relaxed. We open our doors at the Special Activities Mall, Ground Floor, tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. You are most welcome.”
The next day, even before the inaugural hour, there was a long queue of women with their husbands in tow. When they were let in, they told the receptionist that they had come to leave their “worries” there.
Lawyers galore
Applicants for admission into a law college were called for a final interview. The principal called them one after another for a one-on-one session. He wanted to know what opinion they had about the practitioners of the legal profession.
The principal to applicant 1: According to you, who is an honest lawyer?
Applicant 1: It is the highly knowledgeable lawyer who knows in and out various enactments and precedent-setting judgments but does not earn sufficiently.
The principal to applicant 2: Who is a practical lawyer?
Applicant 2: It is the pleader, who does not know his subject and fumbles often while arguing but is shrewd enough to have plans to become a politician at the appropriate time.
The principal to applicant 3: Who is a fabulous lawyer?
Applicant 3: It is the solicitor, who charges his client exorbitantly and ultimately files his bankruptcy petition as well.
The principal to applicant 4: Who is a brilliant lawyer?
Applicant 4: It is the attractive lady advocate, who captivates the male judge with her stunning looks, manages to get frequent adjournments and charges her client for every appearance.
The principal to applicant 5: Who is a real lawyer?
Applicant 5: It is the attorney, who is a close friend of the judge.
Wife’s talents
A young man was known for his atheist views. He used every opportunity to decry people, who talked about saints and God. He spoke derisively of the concepts of sin and hell, noble deeds and heaven. “Religion is the abode of good-for-nothing people,” he proclaimed vituperatively several times.
He fell in love with a beautiful girl, who was deeply religious, and married her. People wondered how they would get along and how long their marriage would last.
But, soon there was a perceptible change in the man. He became chastened and mellowed down. All his hyperbolic talk had gone. Surprised, his neighbours concluded that the talents of his highly devout wife were responsible for this change.
One day, a friend talked to him openly and said, “We should appreciate your wife’s skills. She has been able to change your attitude towards religion thoroughly.”
The young man replied, “I don’t know. But after marriage I realized what hell is all about. Now I do believe that there is what is called hell.”
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